So I met this girl online and we talked for a few months before meeting up. We hit off instantly, and we met up for a few more dates aftwards. Everything was going great, except I was pretty busy at times and so the dates were 2-3 weeks apart, yeah long I know. I'm actually kinda inexperienced with girls and dating, despite being 19, cause I was shy when I was younger. So on the 4th date I finally got the guts to kiss her but she rejected it. After that date, she stopped texting me as much as she used to. Eventually I realized she was talking to some guy on facebook. I ended up asking her if she wanted to keep dating cause I felt I was just being strung along at that point. To my surprise, she goes off about how she didn't think we were dating and how she thought we just "friends who went on like dates" . 2 weeks later that guy she was talking became her boyfriend. I just don't get it, I thought we were dating. We flirted, held hands, and there touching too (not sexual I guess but still). I even gave a kiss on the cheek on the 3rd date. Even before we went out for the first time she actually asked me out by saying "let's date :)" . I even payed for all the dates so I don't know I mean am I wrong about all of this. I'm just so confused about what happened. Some ideas would help. This whole thing has made so sad cause I feel like she was perfect...
Most Helpful Girl
No friend's don't go on dates. Friend's hang out and spend time together but not on dates.
You got lead on, and I'm sorry! That is terrible. I've been there too. Actually I'm there right now.
I'm seeing this guy and he wants to get to know me, says he wants to take things slow, yet won't make the time to actually spend time with me to get to know me.
I'm at the point now where I feel like giving up.
We've been seeing each other for 4 months. We text daily, and I've been trying to make plans with him to see each other again (last time I saw him was on Valentines Day). But every time I try to make plans, he flakes or gets busy or something comes up or the weather is bad.
I live 45 minutes away and I have to drive to see him (he never comes to me). So I feel like this is all very one-sided.
I feel like you were in a similar situation. You were paying for dates, while she was talking to other guys.
You were showing signs you liked her and wanted things to move forward, while she was rejecting you. But she still wanted and agreed to go on dates?
I don't get it. Sounds to me like she agreed to go out with you knowing it wasn't working out. You got lead on, and that sucks big time!
I would stop talking to her. She is not perfect! She's human. Don't put her on a pedestal.
There are plenty of girls out there who would love to be with you and actually want to be your girlfriend.0
Most Helpful Guy
This is the way I see it... there are some red flags here... first off meeting someone online... not saying this is bad but the chances are not as good that you are finding a quality girlfriend here. The next thing I see is this... your dates were 2-3 weeks apart... what was she doing in the meantime? Did she ever say she wanted to date more and with less time in between? I dont think so on this one... and if she did she is probably realizing that you aren't willing or able to make time for her. I honestly think she had more than one guy in the picture... and you were being strung along. Guys see it as dating, girls see it as hanging out... trust me been there... I think her heart on the 4th date was already for this other guy as to why she rejected you on the kiss. She said dating at first though but then this other guy came in the picture and she chose him over you... sorry to say that. Think of it this way... would you want a girl that strings you along or has another guy either waiting in the wings or cheating on you? You deserve better, she wasn't perfect... you wanted her to be perfect... again I was there. You will look back on this and realize "yeah this is good that I found out her true colors and moved on." You are young, take this experience, learn from it, and move on. Find someone that will be committed to you and only you, and dont fall too fast... let things happen naturally. I have fallen too fast before and it ends up hurting you more. There are a lot of good quality women out there that will be faithful. Best of luck to you!