- Stay with husband; cut all ties with other man
- Stay with husband; try to stay friends with other man
- Divorce husband
Most Helpful Guy
Here is the way I see this one... first off the facts... you have been married for 7 years and over 5 without this friend of yours. You have never cheated. Ok, now the truth... marriage isn't easy, I can attest to that. You married your husband because you chose him. So then the last 1.5 years you "fell in love". I think something is missing in the marriage that was there before and you are reaching out to your friend to fill that void. If it was physical you would have cheated already. I think this one is more on the emotional level, meaning you are kind of feeling detached from your husband, like he isn't fufilling one of your needs. The first thing you do is sit down with your husband, who you should be able to tell anything to and tell him why you aren't happy right now. As I mentioned something is missing and together you should work to try to get that back. This is the man you have been with the last 7 years so please dont throw it all away. Work this out together. Remember there was a reason why you said "I do" to him. There was a reason why you picked him to be your husband. You will be challenged in your marriage, that is a fact... look at it as a test of your love together. You pass this and find out what is missing and get it back this will only make you stronger together. You need to cut all ties with this man. He is the reason why you are thinking of throwing 7 years of your life away. Dont be fooled into thinking "that the grass is greener on the other side". This is merely a test of your love and an eye opener to find out what is missing or what is currently lost in the marriage. If you try to stay friends with this guy then you are basically putting him on the back burner, using him as a backup, which shows your lack of trust in the marriage and kind of setting yourself up for divorce, or the thought of it when your complete focus should be on fixing your marriage. See a counselor, find out how you can fix the marriage before you jump ship. He may not be aware that you are thinking divorce and if he loves you he will do everything in his power to fix it and to make you happy. That is the problem nowadays people think that marriage should be easy, but it isn't. You need to work at anything to make it work. Your main goal should be to make each other happy. So talk to your spouse and tell him how you feel. You married him for a reason, and fell in love with him before... find those reasons again. I wish you only the best!
Most Helpful Girl
i voted a~ you made a promise to your husband that you would love him until death do you part. and, if you aren't at least a little bit willing to put the effort into your marriage, then you have broken that promise.
if i were you, i'd cut off all contact with the other guy. cheating isn't just physical, and you may have already gone there; usually, this is a clue that your relationship with your husband is missing something, and you need to figure it out before you do the horizontal tango with your "friend".
for tonight's homework~ i want you to think long and hard about what is missing in your marriage. has your husband's treatment of you changed? is he abusive? what does your friend provide you with, that your husband can't or won't?
either way, good luck.