I've been married for 7 years, but over the past year and a half, I've fallen in love with someone else. Is divorce the right choice? Before any name calling begins, please understand that I wasn't looking for someone else, but I fell in love with this friend of mine anyway. I have also never physically cheated.
- Stay with husband; cut all ties with other manVote A
- Stay with husband; try to stay friends with other manVote B
- Divorce husbandVote C
Most Helpful Guy
Well, even after 7 years of marriage you can still fall in love with someone else so that indicates that you were certainly not happy in your marriage or the marriage wasn't the way you expected it. Something was going wrong somewhere, otherwise I just don't see any reason for someone else entering a married person's life.
In your case it has happened. Hence I would say now you have to evaluate the situation carefully:
If the guy you love loves you:
1. First is you need to be absolutely sure that you are in love with the other guy that you mentioned, or is it just a phase of attraction. If it's just attraction then it will probably pass away but if it's something serious like " LOVE" then it's a different thing. Hence first you need to be sure of your feelings towards the guy.
2. Now, if you 100% sure it's love, then you need to know from the guy that he also loves you back or not, because if he doesn't love you then there is no point in taking things forward and your feeling will remain one-sided, which again is hurtful. Hence you need to know if the guy loves you and wants to be with you
3. You need to speak and have a conversation with the guy you love and after that if you both love each other equally and want to be with one another, then you can take things forward.
4. You can then go for a divorce and it will be a good choice then, because there is no point in staying in an unhappy marriage.
Here is the second part to this
If the guy doesn't love you the way you love him
1. Now if you do take divorce without knowing the feelings of the guy towards you, then what you'll do. You will only repent on your mistake, right?
2. I mean there is no point in going for a divorce when the guy doesn't love you or wants to be with you, because that also will hurt you in the end.
However in either case, since the marriage has lasted for 7 years, I would suggest you to try once and see if the problems in your marriage can be resolved or not. I mean just try once, but if you are 100% sure that this marriage is as good as dead then there is no point in staying in such a marriage which is loveless and is filled with unhappiness.
Hence first you have to confirm what the reality is ( read above ) and then take a calculated decision. I would suggest you not to go just on your emotions and feelings.
The choice is yours.
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Most Helpful Girl
My opinion and what I would do if I was in your position is I would cut all ties with the other man. I fell for a guy in my college class while I was with my boyfriend.. before I did anything I would regret, i cut off all communication. . and actually spent more time with my boyfriend and appreciating him, and really looking back at all the amazing things we have done together. And I started to fall in love with him even more and the 'other guy' faded away... fixing sothing that is or might be temporarily broken and making it stronger, is better than finding someone new (except for abuse and cheating) . Love will fade and come back again.. its like a rollarcoaster but you have to, as a couple, work at keeping the love alive even when you dont want to. People expect to always be feeling ontop of the world when in a commited long term relationship and its not realistic.. sometimes you won't feel inlove with ur S/O but that feeling eventually goes away, and its no reason to get with someone else because you will end up feeling that same 'out of love' feeling with this new guy and you will be looking for someone else and the cycle never ends... I guarantee it! 'Cuter or better' guys will always come and distracted you but they are never worth it. My grandparents have been together for 50 years and they are still in love because they work at staying in love even when they dont feel the love some days. Thats what its all about. Im guessing ur not married yet. . I don't know if you even want to so your not obligated to stay, but the way you are in your dating life is how your marriage life will be.0