Is it just me, or would you be offended, too?

This guy I used to date (for a very very short time) has a new gf, but he was telling me how I missed out because there were a few "good guys" like him and how if I wanted to hookup with him I could have. I never trusted him though, and I found it offensive that he thought I would honestly be the type to hit a guy up for a random hookup. I thought it was inappropriate for him to say that, being as he's in a relationship. Why say something like that?

Then he texted me a couple of days later asking me how I was, but he didn't even carry on with the conversation. Is he messing with my head? It was 2 years. Why is he acting like this?

What if your boyfriend/girlfriend was saying this to his/her ex? Wouldn't you be offended?

Updates:
Thanks for all the comments guys! I told him we wouldn't have worked out because I didn't trust him. And his girlfriend actually broke up with him because she didn't trust how he is with his female friends. Go figure hahaha.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • i would be just because he's obviously not over you. yes he may have someone else but obviously their not "you". some people we date just have that affect we can't get them out of our heads, not in a creepy weird way just we liked what we had when we had it.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 9

  • Haha, tell him to f*** off and don't talk to him again. The relationship ended, no need to drag on useless conversation. And yeah, I do think he is trying to mess with your head, and maybe this new relationship is to get back at you because he is gloating.

    And a "good guy", by my definition at least, doesn't want to "hook up" randomly. They want a meaningful relationship, so to me, he is full of sh*t. NLP, don't fall for it, he isn't "good."

    NLP, is Neuro Linguistic Programming, by the way, a tactic used in manipulation a lot of times.

    Anyways, If my ex told me I was missing out, I would say shut up and not talk to her again. She's trying to manipulate me to get me back, or at least make me feel bad. It's pointless and only cowards use such tactics.

    And I am in a relationship, and my ex doesn't mater. I think about my gf, not my ex, so the past doesn't matter. Its been over, it will stay done.

    But in short, yes I would be offended, because I know they are being manipulative. And not too loyal to their current relationship. But I am but one man, so there may be others.

    Have a great day,

    -Binary.

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    • Is NLP what Dr. Gitusum is selling now? LOL! The dating gurus are digging deep for crap to sell people who don't know better.

    • Not sure who that is, but NLP is a field in psychology. Don't make ignorant comments, please. I don't condone it, or really think it works too well, but it is something to consider I suppose. And I do not claim to be a relationship guru by any standards.

  • I don't think it is necessarily offensive but obviously he was thinking of you and he is regretting that he is no longer with you. If I were you I would just tell him "We were together before I have moved on and I am not interested. I hope you and your girlfriend are happy together." There you are not really burning any bridges but you are blatantly telling him you are happy and that he should not text anymore.

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  • I wouldn't be offended; I would think it was pretty funny. Text him back: "Don't ever contact me again."

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  • listen to me carefully...this guy is definitely bad news for ya. You were pretty lucky that ur relationship with him ended soon.If he can't be trusted on account of his behaviour, y bother to even think abt him girl? Wot you need to do is to ignore him completely and continue to live ur own life.

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  • It would be OVER! DONE! I'd change my number that sends a clear message.

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  • When you were dating him he was likely doing this same thing behind your back. Now he has a new gal and he is doing the same thing to her behind her back. He is just immature and thinks he can play the field -- which isn't really so wrong as long as people keep letting him get away with it. Good for you for seeing through him.

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  • Yes unless he thinks you're into hookups, it's offensive. I think you should warn his girlfriend, and thank your lucky stars that you are not with him.

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  • He sounds like a manipulator.

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  • Hell yeah.

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What Girls Said 12

  • If he's such a "nice guy" why would he feel the need to randomly throw out to you the fact that he thinks he is. He could have been more reserved about it and just let it go, you know (it is what it is) by now. He probably feels like his ego has a chip knocked off of it or something. Like, who does she think she is? I'm a nice guy. Even after two years, he's still stuck on this very short term relationship that went no where. Maybe he still likes you and just can't get over the fact that it didn't work. I dated a guy like that once. I felt like he was more high maintenance than I was, as far as my emotions go, lol. I'm an independant person, and that drove him crazy. He would always take the time to remind me "You treat me so bad, I don't derserve this, I'm a nice guy", when it would merely be over nothing. Something like me not letting him go to the store for me or just doing my little errands I enjoyed doing for myself. That would seriosuly offend him for some reason. When he would come over, I wouldn't let him spend the night, I was raised different than that; I was also reminded he was a nice guy over that, and he'd try to talk me out of it. He always treated me like I owed him something. And because he was so nice he would always remind me of all the nice things he did for me when we would get into an argument. I'm happy it didn't work out with us! He ended up breaking up with me on my birthday for another girl who he said would treat him better that he had been talking to at work behind my back, because he's such a nice guy. And then when she wouldn't leave her boyfriend for him, he called me back trying to smooth over things, and asked me if I would forgive him and give it another try. So maybe you should count yourself lucky =) All of those nice guys aren't so nice after all, especially when you need to be reminded that they are, lol. Forget about'em!

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  • he said that you're 'missing out'?

    I would have said 'hey honey, just because you're full of yourself doesn't mean you're not a tool.' and just smile.

    whatever. this guy really is full of himself. I wouldn't even get mad if he said this to my face if I were you. I'd move on. ignore ignore ignore his text too. he's in a relationship, probably still a jerk so he's bothering you or playing mind games. some guys are idiots. this is a sign of one. just don't pay attention to him.

    I have to pretend everyday my ex boyfriend doesn't exist because he was a jerk to me and in the end he's the one gets hurt more. when you act like they don't exist, trust me, some part of them will hurt. just be happy and move on , don't look back. :)

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    • Just because someone says "you're missing out" doesn't mean they are full of themselves... not only might they be a great person, but they probably have a LOT to give that individual as well... they'd do anything for you... more in that respect.

  • well he obviously isn't making sense because if he was a good guy like he claims to be, he wouldn't be texting you or any other girl telling them they "missed out" and "hooking up". And he probably said that because he's just bored and wants to mess with a girls head or something. I think he's also acting like that and saying those things because he's bored or not happy with the girl he's with now and just wants to text girls he's talked to before. and YES I would definitely be upset and offended if my boyfriend was saying these things to other girls.

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  • yea he's offensive. he's asking how you're doing just to keep in touch. to use you. he doesn't care or like you.

    he is trying to hook up with you/use you for the purpose of having sex. clearly, he's not into you.

    i would immediatley stop talking to him. don't let him talk to you.

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  • listen the guy is obviously mad that you ain't go out with him.and good thing you didn't because if he has a girl and still calling you he's not faithful he just likes to play games.

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  • To me, he doesn't sound like the 'good' guy he says he is, otherwise he wouldn't be 'marketing' himself whilst in a relationship. I agree, it was inappropriate, and suggestive.

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  • He's being an asshole, ignore him. & trust me, she won't believe you if you tell his girlfriend, & he'll talk his way out of it & they'll both make you out to be the crazy one. Just leave it all alone.

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  • this guy is not worth talking or thinking about girl. move on with your life and DELETE HIM OUT OF IT TOO. :) smile. you deserve better

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  • i'd be offended. he's just using you as a cheat if you follow thru. he probably did the same when you guys were dating

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  • Sounds like this guy fancies himself to be a player. Would I be offended? Not exactly, but I would rethink my involvement with him.

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  • Yep that is very crass of him.

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  • he is probably half joking half serious like he'd love to sleep with you but likes messing with you

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