I'll try and keep this brief.
I met my boyfriend via a mutual friend (I am 22 and he is 26.) We met a few weeks before I was due to move abroad. Although we had an instant connection, we agreed it wasn't right to start anything before I moved. My move did not go to plan and I had to move back home after 3 months (we stayed in touch throughout.) As soon as I came back, he wanted to start dating.
Things progressed between us quickly (we slept together on the 3rd date (my first time) and we said 'I love you' on the 5th.) I knew all along he had a very stressful job which took up a lot of his time, so we only saw each other a few times a month, but kept in contact via phone and email etc very frequently. I had never met anyone like him before- he was so open with his feelings, honest and loving. We are great together in every aspect.
Recently, his job has been particularly time-consuming due to a project and lots of travelling. Out of nowhere, he has said that he cannot maintain a relationship with me anymore, but still wants me to be a part of his life. I asked him what that would look like? Casual hookups? friends? him calling me only when he is free and me having no expectations of him? He said none of these would be respectful or fair to me. We both still love each other, we've said this, but he will not move from his decision.
I can see that he is consumed by his job and other responsibilities he has at home and with his religion etc. but why is he convinced that any form of relationship with me would be a burden/inconvenience? Should I sympathise with him? Should I feel bitter? At the moment, our contact is limited and he is away travelling with work for a few weeks. All I can do is cry- I really did not see this coming from a man who was so sensitive and affectionate and it seems such a waste of a good and rare thing.
I would love to hear opinions from both men and women who have perhaps been in similar positions
Most Helpful Guy
I'd say it's because he loves you that he is ending it - it is tearing him up inside that he can't be with you because of his work. Rather than have a drawn-out deterioration of the relationship, he is trying to end it quickly and decisively.
It's not that it's a burden or inconvenience, it's that it cannot be the relationship it should be and that you both deserve with him not able to devote the time and energy to it.1
Most Helpful Girl
He's probably stressed with the things in his life right now and sees he's not devoting enough time to you as a boyfriend, so he wants to end things until the point he can again. I've been through a similar thing before, just be patient and understanding with him.1