I just broke up with my boyfriend (unofficial boyfriend) and now I regret it?

Today I broke up with this guy I'd been seeing for 5 months, because I got tired of him never initiating dates. I just couldn't deal with his passivity I guess. However apart from that he was sweet, kind, funny, everything else was good. The thing is though that I don't know why I'm sad now that I've done it. Because when I decided to break up with him I felt so relieved and happy. But now thats its officially over I'm bummed. What should I do? should I tell him I changed my mind? If so how long should I wait to try and get him back?

Updates:
Thanks everyone, also do you think it would be possible to be friends, because I really would like to be friends in the future but I wouldn't know how to go about it

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well if you didn't like the way he was the first time it's not going to change. It was a stupid reason to break up in the first place but that's just my opinion. You might just be sad that you're alone again (not necessarily missing him, remember you were "relieved and happy" when you broke up). Make sure if you do ask him back that it is 100% what you want without any doubt. It's not fair to him to ask him back and then realize nope, you were right the first time and dump him again! Keep in mind also he may not want you back either.

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    • that's sound advice I'll keep that in mind. :) And I know it seems like a shallow reason to break up over, but when someone never initiates a date it makes me feel like I'm forcing myself on them, like they dont really care about me you know? Plus I'm not needy at all I think seeing each other once a week is ok, don't you think?

    • Oh well yes I agree when you feel like you're forcing it then yes it probably was a good idea to break up. Maybe find someone else where it just comes naturally.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 6

  • No you shouldn't go back because you'll break up again for the same reason. Just because you wanted the breakup doesn't mean you won't feel sad that it didn't work. Most all failed relationships have a grieving process and that's where you are

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  • Well he never asked you to be his gf? Hmmm. well maybe he just needed a bit time? But whatever!

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  • You need to ask yourself if you really want him back or do you just moss being in a relationship?

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  • you're an idiot

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    • Show All
    • oh I did tell him in the text. I told him that being always the one that initiate's dates is tiresome... So not only did I communicate what was wrong in the break-up text but also when we did see each other I did try to talk to him about it and he agreed with me but didn't change so...

    • you also tell them prior to breaking up to give them a chance to do better and never break up with someone over text. so you are just as bad at communication as he is...

  • best option is to be friends, it can show if you are good for each other or no.

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    • I would like to, how do I go about doing that though?

    • invite him to some social activity, let's say you went out with your friends to the park, a party, movie bla bla bla count him in, in short way any activity which you won't be alone in and when you introduce him never say we used to date or something just say he is my friend.

    • ok thanks that helps. I'm really new to this so I don't know how to handle this situation

  • It seems that you just made the decision to break up right away because of the guys passivity sometimes you need to think things through before making a decision now now you regret it you have to deal with the consequences if you want him back in your life make sure that you won't do it again if your unsure then don't do it

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    • the problem is though that I thought I was sure and that I thought it through, I've been thinking about it for two weeks and when I made up my mind that I was going to end it It felt like the right thing to do but now I'm sad about it. Which is what i guess I need to figure out

    • Your not emotionally prepared for it in your mind you feel it's the right thing to do but your feelings tell you otherwise you should try to talk to him and tell him what's bothering you if he's matured enough he will understand but don't expect too much from him

    • thanks ill think about it

What Girls Said 7

  • You're feeling a sense of loss, it's normal but You did if for a reason. Try to remember them every time you get sad but in the mean time, get busy doing other things. Work, school, friends, gym, etc. the more you can fill your mind the less room there will be for your doubts. But I'mcurious, what is an "unofficial BF"?

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    • by unofficial boyfriend I meant that he never asked me to be his girlfriend, if I had introduced him to some people I wouldn't have known what to introduce him as

    • Well that's weird. Fund a guy who proud to be your boyfriend. Good luck❤️

  • Just be honest tell him how you feel. You can't play with peoples emotions your either in it all the way not.

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  • get over it, if you go back the same thing will happen, so forget it

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  • yeah text him as soon as your ready and say something like
    maybe i was being to hasty. can we meet up to talk. something simple

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  • Doesn't seem like he put a lot of effort in.
    If you feel relief when breaking it off with someone, then something wasn't right in the relationship.

    Give yourself time to get over him

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  • I know how you feel, I recently broke up with my ex for secretly online dating and lying to me.. Apart from that he was or seemed like the perfect guy and I do miss him at times, it's normal to regret cutting someone you love out of your life. However the fact is you did it because you weren't happy! We forget the negative feelings when they are not around but honestly if he really cares he will come back if not then you may of saved yourself heartache in the future

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    • he said that if I ever wanted to give him another chance in the future that he would be there...

    • Seems like he's keeping his options open so he can always come back when he's ready, how can you be so sure there's no one else when he's always busy working you don't know what he's actually doing

    • that's true

  • I think you should stick with your first decision.

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