My fiancée and I love each other, but we are just not compatible in certain, very important ways. She is very religious. I'm not. I tried, but I'm just not a guy who can be the good, Catholic man she wants me to be.
Most Helpful Girl
How, SPECIFICALLY, is this schism affecting yr relationship?
Is this an argument about potentially raising children one day? If that's what it is, then I could see that becoming a legitimate issue.
If it's anything else, then, honestly, you two should be able to get over it.
I am Catholic -- I go to Latin Mass every week -- but, at the end of the day, religion is a private conversation between me and God. My husband generally doesn't go to Mass with me, but, we have a mutual understanding there, and we see eye-to-eye on the role of religion (and/or lack thereof) in raising our children.
I mean, our love is our love, and there's just no way I could see that sort of thing overcoming it.
So, yeah... SPECIFICS?
What VERY SPECIFICALLY is getting in the way here?0
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Most Helpful Guy
# Step 1
The first thing I do is embracing I cannot switch off my feelings for her like a switch light. Recognising my inability to effect a desirable change is itself relieving.
# Step 2
I feel the hurtful feelings of breaking up rather than diverting attention from them. It doesn't matter if it takes a day, week or month. Diverting focus from the hurtful feelings only decelerate the recovery process.
# Step 3
I accept she is no longer with me, instead of nursing hope and fighting for her to come back. This is the biggest mistake I made in my first breakup. It only heightens the pain and prolongs the recovery process.
# Step 4
I focus on the good memories she brought to my life, and on things I would have loved to experience with her. This shifts my mind from hurtful to positive emotions. The mistake I made with my first breakup is I focused on her frailties to convince myself she wasn't beautiful enough. I was merely lying to myself because if she wasn't good enough I won't have been with her in the first place.
# Step 5
I remove items (e. g. clothes, cosmetics, pictures, etc.) that I associate with her. I also block and delete all her phone number, email address and other forms of communication like whatsapp, etc., including the contacts of some of her friends.
# Step 6
While carrying out the above five steps I engage quite a lot in activities, such as meditation, running, gym and strolling in the woods and park. I set important activities to do daily, and focus on completing them.
# Step 7
I draw inspiration from my first breakup. I flash my mind back and challenge my behaviours and thoughts. My world didn't crumble. I dated beautiful girls after that. I then flash my mind back to current breakup. It then suddenly changes my perspective, confidence and mood. It's like telling myself I have been through this before, and came out stronger 6 to 12 months after the breakup.0