Do you need time alone after a break up even though you were the person who initiated it?

I started seeing someone who just broke up with a guy a week ago. She broke up with him because she started seeing him just as a friend. She says she really likes me and even sees a future but everything is too much too soon. She said she needs time alone before being able to be around me.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Eventually she will see you as just a friend as well. I would keep my distance from people who dump their partners for such reasons.

    • You don't think that the romance can just die down between people?

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    • And to answer your question, yes romance can die, but not without a strong reason. I could understand if her reason (why she started seeing him as just a friend) was because for example he didn't play any attention to her, or was taking her for granted, was cheating on her, or didn't want to have any sexual activity with her anymore. Basically him fucking something up and HIM not wanting to make an effort. But then she would be really heartbroken and sad, and her "reason" for breakup would definitely not be "i started seeing him as just a friend". She wouldn't be able to see him as a friend either if that was a case.

    • The thing is that they broke up once before and she still wanted him at that point. But now she said their relationship is completely different. He is nice but they don't sleep in the same bed apparently. Initially after this breakup she felt more relieved but now she is feeling sad. She also feels guilty for doing anything with me.

      The thing is that we have had a thing for each other for 9 months. The timing was never quite right because my future in this city is uncertain and something that scares her a lot. We have talked on the phone for hours everyday and Facetimed countless time. She has cried in front of me because of how much I meant to her and she even talked about how cute our babies would be. She has also told me I am the one. I just can't see myself giving up just yet, but this whole situation is very scary to me. I am worried because her being sad over the breakup leaves me thinking our bond isn't as strong as I might have thought. I don't want to lose her...

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What Girls Said 2

  • yeahh that's fair enough. I do't think she likes this other guy if she told you that. she's being very honest and just give her a little time to herself. shews in her feeling atm. just wait and she will come.

  • No, I would just no talk to him anymore


What Guys Said 1

  • If she started seeing the one she dated as a 'friend', there are high chances that she'll eventually start seeing you as a friend as well. Seems like she isn't relationship material, and all this talk about a 'future' is hogwash. I would stay away from her, if I was you.

    • Why do you say that? She said she slowly saw him more as a friend without any sparks. Their relationship changed that they no longer sleep together, have sex...

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