- We are going to get through this
- We are not going to get through this
Most Helpful Girl
Give her space. I want you to take a look at yourself and your behavior in this situation. This is your first relationship, so you don't know the rules. I know it sounds so pathetic, but there are rules. The more available you are to getting your heart broken, the more easily you're going to get your heart broken. Understand? She probably thinks she can do better, cruel but true. Show her she can't.
Do this. Clean yourself up, dry your cheeks, and turn off the freakin' Adele (just kidding, but seriously, no mopey music). Go out, do things without her. Clear your head of her. Cheer yourself up, hang out with friends who are gonna bash her. If you have friends she doesn't like, hang out with them. The idea here is to make her realize that you can live without her. Don't text her, don't message her, don't stand outside her house in the rain. If for some reason she's around, check your phone and grin. Let her think you've got other things going on. Let her imagination go absolutely wild. For a little while her pride will get the best of her, she won't contact you. But after a while she won't be able to stop herself. This is the game. You've got to play it.
And when she comes back on her knees all crying and sniffling, keep playing. Be smooth about it, but attentive. Listen to her when she speaks, if she wants to hang out, tell her you might be able to do that. Maybe.
But what it all comes down to is you placing value on yourself first and foremost in your life, and this is a fake it til you make it situation. She will NEVER value you until you insist that she does. And if she doesn't, leave her behind. There are a thousand of her, there's only one of you. She's replaceable, you are not. Make that clear.
Good luck with this and remember, she won't want you when you're calling her crying. Act like you don't need her, and she'll be calling you.
Most Helpful Guy
Honestly, 9 out of 10 times when a girl calls for a pause of a relationship without a credible reason, it means she is falling out of love.
You story is akin to that of my friend whose girlfriend of 4 years asked for a break. I told my friend, the pause doesn't make sense and that his relationship with his girlfriend is over. Two months after the relationship ended.
There is a theory in social psychology that a person is more likely to share their worries with an entrusted significant other. Your girlfriend has not done that with you. Instead she has chosen to take time off a relationship. That's a euphemism for I am breaking up with you.
Right now, this is what you should do:
#1 DO NOT contact her during this one month period
Since she is the one who has asked for a pause in the relationship, she has all the trump cards. Any attempt to rescue the relationship could bolster her resolve to explicitly end the relationship.
# 2 Adopt military silence
That is no information about your state of mind and well-being should filter to her, and no information about her should filter to you. Do not check any of her social media posts and updates. Out of sight is really not out of mind.