Why I don't have hate in my heart towards anyone even if I was really hurt?

so i never felt hatred towards anyone at all. when peaople hurt me i get upset and sometimes angry but in a couple of days and even sometimes a couple of hours can make me forget about it.
when my wife of 2.5 years hurt me for the last 5 month and told me she doesn't love me and never did and our marriage was a mistake and deprived me from any kind of intimacy or affection and i found out she was in love with a guy since before we got married and met him several times before and during our marriage and i begged and tried to make things work for the sake of our son but still she recently left with our son, i was totally shocked and felt betrayed and stabbed in the back, but i never felt hate towards her. i am as civil as anyone can be, i contact her everyday to checkout on my son and see her every other day to pick him up and attend doctor's appointment together and yesterday was Palm's day and we went together to church for the sake of our son.
she tried to come back but i rejected her and told her we are over and i am preparing for divorce now.
i feel not being able to hate her is making things harder for me.
is there anything wrong with me? why can't i hate who hurt me badly?


Most Helpful Girl

  • There's nothing wrong with you at all. I am quite similar. I may hate what someone did to me , but I don't hate them as a person.

    It's obvious that you are not vindictive , and you're an emotionally and mentally strong person. Those are great qualities to possess. You are able to gain control over your negative emotions , a lot of people find that difficult to do.

    Your son is your priority. I admire you, because not a lot of people are able to put the pain and hurt behind them in order to provide love, peace and stability for their kids.

    Plus, you are not a fool or pushover, because you didn't give you ex a second chance to hurt you again... when she wanted to come back to you.

    There's too much hatred in the world , so never think there's something wrong with you just because you can't hate people who hurt you. That shows your strength of character. It's a sign of strength... not weakness


Most Helpful Guy

  • Honestly you have a strength that others including me wish they possessed. There are many men and some women in prison, serving life for acting out after being betrayed by their lover.. It's awesome that you look out for your son and I would recommend seeking partial if not full custody in the proceedings

    • thank you for your opinion and i appreciate your compliment.
      regarding my son, i would never take him away from his mother unless she showed neglect or untrustworthiness (i dont know if that word even exist :) ) and i will keep on being as good as a father as i possibly can as we brought him to life to live happily and not to pay for our mistakes and i will always be a provider and do my best for him and be as involved as possible in his life.

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    • i meant on weekdays i get to spend a couple of hours with him every other day.
      its not something that the court issued but i just asked for it to stay close to my son and she never said no. maybe later on in a couple of years that might change due to school schedule.
      you think not being able later on to spend as much time with me as he does now will hurt him more than if i go for partial custody now as u described it?

    • I'm not completely sure, as you said that the weekday time might change. I can only speak of my own experience and tell you that I never felt split staying my dad's every other weekend. Really it doesn't matter what I or anyone thinks besides you, your wife/ex wife, and your son. Against all odds I hope you and her can come together to decide what's best for your child.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Not hating is a good sign, hatred consumes people later on. It would also make it harder on your son if you hate her. I don't know how you can make it easier but maybe you should talk to your wife and explain that it's hard on you, maybe she can help.
    I think that you don't hate means that you realise people don't hurt you because of you, but because of who they are. I think that more people should be like that.

    Good luck :)


What Guys Said 1

  • That could be because you are very forgiving, soft hearted as a person and you may also be nice and sweet and that's why you really can't hate anyone. I mean that's what I can say.

    There is nothing wrong with you.


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