Heartbreak and depression.. Did I do the right thing?

Hello, Let me start off by telling a little bit about who i am.. I'm currently 21, and untill yesterday i was in my very first relationship. We both met at college and we never dated anyone before, we we're both kissless and virgins in all the senses of the word, at the time i was going trough a rough patch, i've had depression for most of my life and i was finally reaching a breaktrough, we both started dating and realized we had much in common, including the fact that she had severe depression as a teen, but suposedly was healed already.. All i've ever wanted out of a relationship was affection, care, peace.. That was something that was an even greater deal than sex to me, and she cared for me, for a time. I also cared for her.. I gave myself wholeheartedly to her, to me she was my everything, till the very end.. I thought that i was her everything as well, she took care of me as i've always wished for. Untill she got trough a rough patch. You see, i've never got angry with her, for the 1 year that we were together i've never yelled at her, or picked a fight, i always tried to not mind the small things, because i love her.. My love for her was greater than all of that, but she didn't feel that way.. She started picking fights over small things like what type of medicine i was using (she's into the whole vegan thing, anti-big pharma and whatnot), wether or not i wore my pants tucked in, second guessing my career choices. It was basicly fighting all the time, it was the one thing i've never wanted out of a relationship, i wanted care, affection, love.. That's what it's all about right? Now mind you, these were not the common fights couple have.. There were all the time, like we could not spend 3 days together without her throwing a fit at me for the most stupid things.. I tried and tried to take care of her, to help her trough her rough patch, i mean i know she wasn't perfect, but i tried.. She broke my heart.. But i still love her, i'm so confused..
Let me just clarify: I have no doubets that she loves me, and that she didn't mean the things she did, but it hurt so bad.. She knew i didn't want fights, that i needed caring and that i've always treated her with love and care.. That's what hurts the most.. And that's why i had to break up with her, even tho i know she didn't mean it.. It just hurt so much.


Most Helpful Girl

  • No... you did the right thing. She was slowly disassembling the peace and well-being that you worked very hard to build. You have to protect that at all costs. Some people cannot learn a lesson simply by being told to stop. Or by being asked to compromise. She had to learn and grow the hard way. If she is truly sorry, she will work to change her ways in order to be a more suitable partner. Perhaps at some point you two will even be together again. But for now you have a right to be happy.

    • That's what my mother keeps telling me and what i've been trying to tell myself.. I feel like i'm worse than when we started dating.. But i still love her, maybe i didn't try hard enough for her, she just started going to therapy for the first time in her life and i feel like i'm the worst for leaving her at this time.. But she was hurting me so bad, she knew i didn't like fights and what i've been trough..

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    • You're right.. Thank you :)

    • Sure... I am glad you were brave enough to do the right thing. Even if it means facing some loneliness for a little while. You will be fine! We've all been there and gotten through it.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • Sorry to hear! I know how you feel. I just got out of my first relationship myself we both suffered depression and we always fought/argued which is not a healthy relationship so I ended it.., I love him but I guess it's not meant to be. It'll take a lot of time to heal, hang around family and friends. Try to distract yourself😌 hope I helped...

  • I love you.. Too good to me. Well get through. Together.

  • Talk to your therapist. Or just find a new hole to stick your dick in, which will likely make you forget about her very, very soon.

    • Did you miss the whole point? I've never wanted a relationship for sex, is it so weird that a guy wants love and caring?

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    • Yeah.. Goodbye, you're reported, good luck in life and take care!

    • LOL you flagged my comment under what? Honesty?

What Guys Said 1

  • My ex was the same way. When a relationship was convenient for her, she was all in. But, the second it became an inconvenience, she found any excuse to leave. I believe she broke up with me 4+ times before I finally woke up one day and realized it was time to call it quits.
    Couldn't be happier. You'll find someone else. Just hang in there.


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