Me and my boyfriend have been in a relationship for a year now and In the beginning of the relationship my boyfriend has told me he keeps in contact with his ex. But everytime im around him her name pops up in his phone. And then recently i found out that she was in his call log after I used his phone to call my mom, it makes me mad because he's told me he doesn't like talking on the phone but why are they on the phone? He says they haven't been together in 4 years and were engaged for 4 years. Im getting suspicious because whenever he's texting he seems to be hiding his phone. He says its out of habit and he's learned from past relationships to not share his phone because its caused problems in the past. He says their just friends but when i ask about seeing what he's talking about on his phone he gets upset because he feels like i dont trust him and that I should be able to trust what he says. He says he has a hard time opening up and he's trying but he's learned to not share his phone as its caused problems in his previous relationships. I don't feel comfortable with this situation but don't want to come off as being controlling either...
Most Helpful Guy
It's kind of an Unwritten rule that you don't keep in contact with your ex... unless of course you have kids and the communication is on behalf of the kids then that's a different story.
It is overall an unfair situation to put your current lover in... nobody likes the idea knowing that someone else took their man or woman, let alone them still keeping in contact with him or her?
Sure... It may be a platonic relationship, but the point is that it makes your current lover feel as if though you are giving someone a part of you that you will not give them, and yes in fact it is like taking away from them by doing so.
I've had ex girlfriends... One in particular that sticks to my mind that we kept in contact for a good ten to fifteen years after we had broken up and we were only together like maybe 4-5 months.
It was a little different, she was married... And we were just friends but eventually her husband found out that she was talking to me and put an end to it.
I don't hold any animosity, I completely understand... I miss her, and she will always be a part of my heart, she was a sweet girl, what can I say? But people move on, as they should!
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Most Helpful Girl
No, I wouldn't feel okay with it. Well, actually, yes, I would, but there would have to be a really good reason for why they do. Besides that, they better cut off contact out of respect for our relationship. Like, if you can't do that for me, then you don't respect me or the relationship we are in. The issue isn't about trust or lack thereof, but about respect. If I were in a relationship with this guy, I wouldn't trust him and personally, we wouldn't be together. I'm not the type to care to snoop through your phone, but if my boyfriend were to be hiding something and it was obvious, I'd get suspicious. I'm not saying the guy doesn't deserve privacy, but this seems to be taking things a little too far and into very suspicious territory.0THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE