Nervous about breaking up with my boyfriend today. Is there a proper way to break up with someone?

We've only dated about a month before making it official. We made it official in February. I don't really feel like getting into detail about WHY, it's just that I have to. I haven't seen him in two weeks and he really wants to see me today and I've been giving him non-verbal cues but I refused to tell him through a text or over the phone because I felt like that was low. I'm afraid of telling him in person because I don't know how he'd react. I don't want to just surprise him today like 'oh I want to break up with you' and have him upset. Honestly, I need some advice. How do I go about it? Please don't ask me why I want to break up with him or convince me to stay. I already made up my mind. I just need help about how I should go about it.

Updates:
I never did it. I ended up chickening out :-(

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, if you have made up your mind, can't stop ya. it would also be nice to know WHY you want to... some things can be fixed rather than going extreme. but if you are hell-bent on splitting... please don't say "... its not you, its me"... just start with the reason why... and he'll get the hint before you deliver the "punch" line...
    I've had a girl break up with me with no info at all... still bugs me till today.
    there's no nice way to break up with someone... the least you can do is explain why.

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    • Well, it's something simple like me not agreeing with his lifestyle. I just don't agree with the way that he lives and his general viewpoint on things. I simply can't be with someone like that. That's all. He's too pushy and I'm not comfortable. I can't open up to him emotionally because he closes me off and is very much a surface person. He cares more about having a 'trophy' girlfriend around his friends. It's uncomfortable.

    • well then, tell him just that. you aren't a trophy... adios.

Most Helpful Girl

  • You should say it in a way thats not like "oh hey im dumping u bye bye " nooo instead just relax & tell him ur not ready for a relationship rn & that you would love for y'all two to be friends, he'll understand

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What Guys Said 7

  • Damn... You have a new boyfriend (love interest) or slept with someone else... And now you feel like a treacherous whore who betrayed him... and realize that breaking up with him is the best thing that you can do to save your dignity... As well as his.
    Pretty much sum it up?

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    • Sorry... I just got to reading some of the other commentary and something about that you don't agree with his lifestyle... Whatever that means.
      I think that if you don't want to be with someone the best thing you can do is just let them go... And if he asks just let him know and that it doesn't have anything to do with him but that you feel such and such or whatever way you feel and you're just not feeling the kind of connection that you want with him.
      I think there are some things that you can say to him that might help him in future relationships without destroying him... But that's up to you. It doesn't have to be complicated just tell him that you feel it would be better if you guys stop seeing each other... And that's it. He doesn't even really need an explanation although sometimes it is nice if it is one that is not unnecessarily abrasive.

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    • Touche... Maybe next time you won't leave so much to the imagination with your posts.
      It's better to be straight up with your questions so that people can be straight up with their answers.

    • I did mention that I didn't want to get into all of that. I asked this question in the past and everyone basically told me to work it out and not to break up. I'm just not happy with him.

  • He will be upset regardless of how you break up with him. If you want him to move on faster then make him feel really bad.

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  • Just do it... Doesn't matter when and how your do it... It's gonna hurt him anyways...

    But why do you wanna dump him?

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    • I don't agree with his lifestyle. Wish I would've known beforehand.

    • Oh ok ok.. What was his life style?

  • Just be direct about it. You're going to have to face what his reaction will be. There's no avoiding it. And don't break up through text.

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    • Yeah I wouldn't do that lol. Unfortunately I chickened out :-( I felt bad because his dog died.

  • Yes. Make deal. Enjoy and celebrate break up. We did it. I'm having many girls who are still in good contact and never f felt to bad.

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  • Yes, in person is best. Just be honest and kind.

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  • Go somewhere public like a restaurant or something and just be honest

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    • What about in his car?

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    • That's just asking to be kidnapped if he takes it badly

    • Lol okay. I guess I can just meet up with him someplace.

What Girls Said 6

  • If he's really into you then he's going to be upset no matter how you say it. It's best to just be blunt and honest. Just tell him that you think it's not working out, give him your honest reason why, and say that you think it's best to end the relationship. You should prepare yourself for him to be upset because he probably will be. Unfortunately, that's just the reality of breaking up with someone. If you aren't happy though and feel like it's not going anywhere though then you have to do it. It would be unfair to him to keep staying with him when you don't feel the same about him.

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    • I've never broken up with someone before so this is new to me.

    • I understand that. It's definitely hard. I broke up with my ex last year and even though I was not happy at all and knew it would be the best thing for me, it was still difficult. However, I'm happy I was able to do it because it opened the door for something better. I'm so much happier and satisfied in my current relationship. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and get it over with, allow yourself to feel all of those emotions that accompany a break up, and then move on.

  • Well he's going to most likely be upset regardless, so tell him your reasons why and be firm but not callous. Don't do it in public and if he starts pleading with you or tries to convince you he'll change just say something along the lines of 'I understand you're upset/feel like I just sprung this on you but my mind is made up' and leave, don't draw it out

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  • You don't need to give us excuses. If you feel like it needs to end, then it needs to end. There's no good way to do it, but you're right not to do it over text. I would say do it as soon as you see him, don't hang out with him and build up to it, I've done that before and chickened out.

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  • You've just got to be honest and give him the reasons why. Tell him you've made up your mind and you didn't want to tell him over text because you respect him too much to take the cowards way out. Wish him the best and say bye.

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    • Yeah I guess it's better to just be honest.

  • There's really no nice way to do it. Just do it fast. Like ripping off a bandaid.

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  • Hey I am late so whatever you were going to do is probably already done. How did it go?

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    • I chickened out :-(

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    • I personally wouldn't keep dragging it out and wasting both of your time. We're you guys super serious? If not, either meet up some time soon out of the blue or just do it on the phone once he's had a day or 2 to deal with the dog thing.

      I'd say "Listen I really like you and everything but I am looking for end-game, the real deal: marriage, house, kids, his and hers coffee mugs, rocking chairs on the porch, the whole thing and I just feel like we are headed in two different directions. I'd love it if we could be friends but if not I completely understand."

    • I wouldn't say 'super serious'. We've been intimate twice. It's only been about a month and a half so far since we started dating.

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