My ex was sort of emotionally manipulative. He was a sweet boy, but he had never had relationship experience besides me. He didn't even notice women until we started dating, he was always focused on videogames like the stereotypical gamer nerd. He was amazing at first. We could talk all day every single day and never get tied of eachother. After a year he started to get repetetive and boring. All we would do is say that we loved eachother and other romancy shit like that, rarely real conversations even when I initiated it. I tried to leave him and he manipulated me into staying by threatening suicide, saying he'd never love again, etc. We went through a rocky week and I finally got the balls to just cut him out completely, with the help of a close friend (now boyfriend). He called me a whore, in much longer terms. He claimed that from the day we met I was just messing with him. It broke my heart. I did care for him. I blocked him immediately though, as he wouldn't let up with the insults no matter how hard I tried to salvage his feelings. I no longer have feelings for the ex, but I found some of his older messages and my heart started to hurt. I miss having him around and I just feel like a horrible person. I was his first love and I ruined it. What if he never gets into another relationship after this, what if I just ruined everything for him? Is it fucked up of me to miss him, even though I don';t want to be with him in any way?
I miss my ex, but not as my boyfriend?
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I have had two friendships end because the other person was toxic. Do I still miss them to this day? Damn right I do. I miss talking to them and sending funny pictures and all sorts of things like that. However, when I think about why the friendship ended I am somewhat comforted. You don't need toxic people in your life. However, it's totally okay for you to grieve and mourn this loss. You cared deeply for this person and you still do, but that doesn't mean they have to be a part of your life when they hurt you1
Life is hard to hold onto.. depressing really1
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