I miss how my ex used to be?

He was once so sweet and caring and loved hanging out with me. now he values partying and drinking and smoking and sex the most. its all he ever wants to do. he lies and manipulates me and he cheated on me. I just want my old boy back. why did he change so much and will he ever go back? he is 18

  • yes he might change back but he won't come back to you
    16%(3)24%(9)Vote32%(6)
  • he won't change
    21%(4)26%(10)Vote32%(6)
  • he might change back and will come back to you
    11%(2)5%(2)Vote0%(0)
  • he probably was always like this but he hid it from you, people don't just change that much
    52%(10)45%(17)Vote36%(7)
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Most Helpful Guy

  • I changed. Went from quiet compassionate funny straight edge kid to borderline alcoholic pothead but still compassionate and funny. From there I got super philosophical. Like most people say most people don't change that much but they do change and often change in unexpected ways. My general disposition to nonconformist thinking had been there since I was little but didn't really get to grow until I left home. So I know personally I haven't changed much but everyone else thinks I have. My parents think that since I've changed religions I'm not as compassionate yet choose to ignore the fact that I'm actually a lot more compassionate than I used to be. And I say that to say that often times we don't actually judge character accurately. We often zoom in on a few features and fill in the blanks with our own beliefs rather than their actual character. For example some people who think poorly about those that drink often believe that those who drink have a multitude of bad habits. We're as those who do drink know that a wide variety of people drink. There are sad drunks, silly drunks, drunks who walk around telling everyone how much they love them, and drunks that just sit there in silence. Some people drink because they're bored others to run from their problems. No matter how you look at it my advice boils down to judge him for who he actually is and not just a few traits.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Did you break up with him because he was cheating, manipulating you, drinking, smoking etc?

    I don't think he'll change. Once his physically that way. He may remain that way until he has a near death experience (God forbid. I do not want to wish that upon anyone)

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What Guys Said 3

  • he may have always been like that or he reached a point, that a lot of people male and female reach when they hit a point in life where they just want to have fun without responsibility.

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  • My vote goes for D).

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  • lack of communication between couples can cause stress and change in behavior.

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What Girls Said 5

  • He might.
    Did you ask him why he changed before you two broke up? Why did you two break up anyway?

    Anyhow. Don't hold your breath, waiting for him to change. What you should you is improve on yourself, and maybe try to find a man who will give you this treatment that you're looking for.

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  • You are now seeing the real him.

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  • "Life is like a box of chocolates, U never know what ur gonna get"- U should move on, he may change but u can't wait because right now he's not what u want so u should look for someone new

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  • he won't change

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  • I went through the same thing girl. He's just finally showing you who he really is.

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