How do you get over girls from the past that either hurt you or just annoyed you?

i seem to have a lot of girls from my past that i have issues with , either they broke my heart , annoyed me , rejected me or did something i felt hurt me or was unreasonable at the time. even some of the girls i was legitamitly friends with things went sour in the end or i lost touch with them and never heard from them again. there isn't much chance in even seeing some of these girls again so maybe there not worth worrying about but there seems to be an issue there i can't seem to address


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Why are you so hung up on it? What does being upset about it do for you besides give them power that they really shouldn't have over you?
    Maybe pick up meditation or writing to clear your coincidence.
    I feel like it's always to just pick up and move on, dwelling just means they win. People can really only hurt you if you let them. Also they may not have any ill intent. I don't know, seems like we deal with things waaaaaay differently. I find holding grudges just weighs me down and makes me feel bad. Also at this point I can't even think of anything that would be worth carrying around with you like that. the only person you hurt when you do that is you.

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    • it was just something I was thinking about , not like I'd think about them everyday , some of them I'd barely think about at all , you have to keep in mind some of these girls did some really mean things to me such as starting rumours , one created a rumour that I was some sort of "serial " stalker when I started at a new college , you can imagine that made things difficult back then and created a lot of pain and suffering for me as I tried to adjust to being at a new college. others were just miserable when there was no need to be , they could of just politely told me they just wanted to be friends and it would of been ok

Most Helpful Guy

  • This is a great question. It seems to be such a paradox: since you don't really WANT to think about them, why do they continue to play a part in your life?

    The reason is that, hokey as it sounds, if you try to suppress feelings of love, they refuse to go away, and make you miserable until you go along with them. There really is only one force in the world, and it is love.

    You have affection for all these women. If you didn't, of course it couldn't bother you that they rejected, left, or otherwise hurt you. For example, if a stranger called you and told you she would never call you again, you'd be fine with that.

    The surprising remedy, which will get easy quickly, because it's so natural, is to acknowledge your affection for all these people. It doesn't mean you have to call them or see them. It just mean you have to think about them with pure affection. You will love/like them as long as you do, but the general feeling of love will deliver more of this to you, in the form of your next relationship.

    Try it, it will work for you :-)

    C

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    • I do agree I cared about them and that's why there actions hurt more than normal or at all , I will have to think about this some more and see what I come up with

    • It's great that you see and feel the affection., Your job now, is to only focus on the affection... and not the hurt. If you want to learn how to do this, I recommend the book Ask and it is Given by Jerry and Esther Hicks. They taught me.

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