Can I help my friend with his divorce?

A year ago my friend and his wife decided to divorce. It was the most peaceful and respectful break up/divorce I'd ever seen. Without lawyers, they basically both took what they came into the marriage with, and since they had no kids, that was never an issue, and she moved out, he kept the cars and the house and she moved on... except for a tiny little issue of they're still not legally divorced. My friend just can't pull the trigger, so to speak, and sign official paper work. So deadlines come and go and come and go, and since she is apparently the world's nicest woman, she has put no pressure on him to sign during that time period until now because I guess she thought by now he would have complied. He just can't let go of his marriage and it's to the point where reality needs to definitely settle into his brain because I can't really have another conversation about she... the she who has been gone for a year or why it didn't work or how can he make it work when she has absolutely no interest in making it work. My friend is just not living anymore in general. All of our friends feel this way. Should I try and urge him or persuade him to get the papers signed or is that not my place or will that probably screw our friendship up?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • See thats a difficult thought to ponder.. My automatic response would say leave it alone. Its not your place.. But then you have to question your own relationship.. Is he in love with two people? Is it selfish on my part? No matter how much i want him.. Is it still selfish? My take on it is until it interferes with our relationship. Its not your place. But when it does then you be his backbone. Stake your love. Dont boss or control but ensure him you want a life with him etc..

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    • Just to make it clear, this guy is like a brother to me. I've known him since we were in middle school. I just miss my friend who isn't moping about his wife who has moved on with her life, which he need to do as well. A year is a long time in purgatory.

    • Ok yeah i didn't look at it that way.. You should probably talk to him.. Sounds he's making himself hopelessly miserable. Questioning my own relationship now aswell.. Yeah definitely. Good point. Good luck. I think i may confront it aswell myself. Thanks lol

What Guys Said 1

  • You can support him, by having sex and talk to him what you really think is the best option.

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    • seriously people... what part of the word friend doesn't make sense to you? Can we be a bit more mature with the advice.

    • I'm giving you an sensitive answer, dont I :P

    • no, you really aren't. I'm asking about advice for helping my friend and you suggest sex with him. Not a mature answer or a sensitive one for that matter. Maybe that's what you do with your friends, but not mine.

What Girls Said 1

  • Stay out of it

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