Trying to interpret the meaning of "Let's see how it goes"?

I was talking to this girl for about a month, and I thought everything was going great. First date, she told me she prefers to get to know people as friends before dating them. It didn't bother me, makes sense. Second date, first kiss. Seemed to enjoy it.

Third date ends with us making out. She seems into it, but I pull away for a breather and she kind of looks like somethings on her mind, I tell her she should say what she's thinking. She says "I just got out of a somewhat serious relationship and I'm not sure what I want. I enjoy spending time with you but I think we should slow down and get to know each other as friends first." We exchange the usual things, with her saying along the lines of "I can't guarantee when I'll be ready, and since there is the option that I end up not wanting anything with you, it won't be fair for you to hang around just because you expect that of me." And me saying something along the lines of "I understand but I'm not going to wait for you to make up your mind."

A while later I send her a polite text saying "that I think we should stop doing what we've been doing altogether as opposed to just slowing down, but that I understand her predicament. She knows where to find me if she decides she's interested, but that I don't expect her to and I'm going to keep my options open." She asks if we can still hang out as friends, either just us two or in a group, I say just us is a little soon but in a group is fine, she says she doesn't know what to say and that we should just see how things go, but that she enjoys talking to me and doesn't want to lose me.

Haven't talked to her since, I see her everyday because of school but I don't ever initiate contact. I don't flat out ignore her, just don't invest too much energy in starting an interaction. Just wondering if I can get any insight on what she's thinking and if


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What Girls Said 2

  • I think you approach this really really well. Too often you hear about people bring doormats for someone they're interested in... waiting to be wanted the same way they want that person.

    Plus, you let her know where you stand. You want something more and aren't going to play the "lets hang out just us two as friends and make out but I don't know if I want anything more" game. It's fair for her to be tentative fresh out of a relationship, but it's also fair for you to expect the same sort of decisiveness that you're giving off.

    Long story short: well played. Hang out as a group like you said. Don't write her off, but keep your options open, too.

  • Back away from the friendzone.


What Guys Said 1

  • You're doing the right thing - being respectful. She just got out of a relationship, so she could still be hurt and confused. That heals with time. She also did the right thing by not stringing you along.
    Both of you seem down to earth and honest. That's a good start. My advice: Give her the space she needs and let her know that you two dating is on the table. Also let her know that to be fair, you feel the need to tell her that you can't wait forever.
    If you truly are into her, try going out, just you two. Don't make a habit of it - maybe once a month, if even that. The goal is to let her experience the difference of being with you (dating) and simply being around you (as friends). If she likes the former, she may want to start dating a lot sooner than you expect. If not, no big deal, you didn't invest a ton of time and energy into it.

    Most importantly, be respectful of her feelings and needs. The last thing you want to do is pressure her into a relationship before she is ready.


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