Guys, am I just a back up girl?

if a guy says "i want you to be my girl friend, but just not now" does that mean he's putting me on the side to see if he can get another girl? what do you think that means?

Updates:
yea.i went out of town (2 hrs away from school) for st. pattys day party and he said he might show up.. then called and said he was stayin home cause he had a job interview in the morning.. well I ended up seein him there.. WTF? guess I am a side girl

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Without any background on him or you (how long you have been talking, things you have done together (dinner,movies) or anything like that) I would say its possible that you could be. I also think it is possible that he just has a lot going on right now with school, work, family, friends, etc. and does not feel that he could put adequate time or energy into a relationship right now.

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    • Thank you.. you were right, he is really stressed right now, I appreciate your answer, it really helped answer some questions I had.. and it helped me ask me if he was stressed or something..which he is.. thanks again

      ~Meg~

    • Hey I am happy that I helped with my answer :) If you need anymore help feel free to send me a message.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Been happily married to my wife for 10 years now. Prior to getting together seriously we were kinda f***buddies for several years. We would hook up and see each other out. We always had a good time together and were great friends (who f***ed) . At the time though I was 23-25 and didn't want to have a serious committment (I f***ed other women too). I always told her that when I settled down she is the one I'd want to be with. Fortunately she was patient and believed me. We are so happy now and have two kids and are completely loyal to eachother. I guess you could say I just had to get it out of my system (f***ing a variety of chicks). Personally I think more people should do this and there'd probably be a lot less infidelity and divorce because people wouldn't be married and wondering what other people were like.

    So to answer your question...yes he's putting you on the side. He probably really likes you but also doesn't want to be committed. Yes he wants to see what other girls are like but that doesn't diminish how he feels about you. In fact its probably a necessary step for him to learn more about himself and then when he settles down he'll be a better partner and better man for it. So my advice to you is to be friends and don't rush it. If its meant to be it will be. Just don't allow him to manipulate you since friends don't do that kind of thing.

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  • yeah he's trying to put you on lay by.. while he does some more shopping

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What Girls Said 2

  • Yes,I was just resently used for a back up girl. He kept telling me we couldn't date cause we lived to far away. The once he finds a girl he might cut you off, then when he is done with her he will come back to you. What I would do is don't even bother anymore, cut him off first. Cause it will just be heartbreak over and over again.

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  • I am in a similar situation I think. A guy told me he liked me, then a few days later said he didn't want to start dating yet because he wasn't over another girl quite yet. Maybe that's the case with this guy? Anyways, don't wait for him, if something comes along, go for it!

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