Need help! Should I contact my ex after a long period of silence?

In short, I haven't spoke to him for a year and we live long-distance. He does sign online quiet often and I know he is checking up on me and trying to get my attention. He has done odd things like copy my login times and even trying to copy the style of my profile pic!

He did some pretty bad things including lying nonstop! However, I know it is possible people can change and we had a super strong feeling of love between us. I don't know why he has continued to play games the last few months, but maybe he is afraid to contact me and it is not his ego?

The last time I did send him a message it was basically telling him to "stay out of my life" and that was because one year ago, he was still lying, making excuses, and not admitting the truth. I really miss him a lot and my life is empty without him. PLEASE HELP!

Only people that have real useful advice, not telling me to move on because obviously I love this person! THank you!
Thanks for all the feedback, the update is I did contact him and he is being hateful and angry. He is way more upset than I realized and pointing out my mistakes instead of his...

He also keeps making contradictions. Threatening to block me and then also saying he wants to keep trying and hope "I will change." lol

I don't know how to tackle this at all! And, he still won't call/Skype me. It is crazy!


Most Helpful Guy

  • He loves you trust I do similar but I just hide it all and come across as strong and confident when all I want to do secretly is meet my ex and show her how much I love her

    • Thank you. That confirms it! Why haven't you contacted her though? Or are you waiting on her?

      I am so upset that he has been playing this game so long, but hope he is working on himself! Do you think maybe he is ashamed/afraid/guilty to contact me first?

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    • Sometimes guys have that grass is greener kind of mentality and he isn't in short supply off women so he's around on this carasol jumping backwards and forwards and he's probably thinking damn I wish I still had my ex. it may be abit of a mid life crisis in which it takes longer 6 months or over. As they think they want a certain person on which they never actually find. But continue to look. My ex girlfriend did all that as she's in experienced she took my plasma t. v so I replaced it the day she got hers and her face dropped. She took one of my dirt bikes and sold it for £1000 less than what is was worth = karma lol see I was the only one with plans to help build up the money we had spent from her dads money so she was cutting spending due to not paying rent and living around the corner from her work. Now she has an apprenticeship on which she spends £120 + £ 100 rent + £140 food n drink. She earns £360 a month lol. What about clothes and saving for the future she wants?

    • So turns out the grass isn't greener and it's riddled in poo. All of that money she now has to spend isn't even touching her as what about FUN and make up and hair cuts lol and clothes she's going to do nothing but spend what little she has left. Her new rebound is a window cleaner who smokes weed and stuck in childish mode. So lol I was the only one to have ambition for our future and that is hard to find. She left thinking the grass is greener and had fun but now it's ALL sinking in. O my lol what is she going to do as seeing As she's only 19 she's got a hard few years of earning crap mo eye before she ever gets the chance to save up ! But I told her this but she didn't listen as she's in experienced and truly thought she would get the perfect George clooney to rescue her. Fact is some people have zero gratitude and that is an issue in most relationships.

Most Helpful Girl

  • The truth is: "You'll never know". When you tell him to stay away ofcoirse it plays into his ego and he wouldn't do ot just to prove a point. However you also have to think about what does that mean to you? If he rejects you how will you feel afterwards? My advice for you is this... Weight both options, what will you gain if you call him? And what will you loose if you do? amd decide from there.

    • Thanks! I did just that and it isn't going well. He is basically pointing the finger at me and filled with rage. Well, I guess he is in love with me if he is so damn angry at my faults. Meanwhile, he caused all of the problems to begin with...

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    • First stop being on denial yourself. Evaluate what and how you are saying things to him. If you are also blaming him for everything you both are not going to move on. One thing I learned about relationships is "pick your battles" dont discuss every simgle thing that irritates you, only if they really bother you should you bring it to light. Try to see things trough his eyes, but really stop and imagine you were him. Ans only then you can make everything clear.

    • Thanks. I agree. The problem is thay he has avoided conversation by phone amd will only contact via email. I have taken responsibility for my actions BUT he won't do the same! He still is finding a way to avoid and deny to make himself look like the victim. And, I am starting to think he is mental to be honest!

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • The only two answers to your question are yes or no...

    And you said "Only people that have real useful advice, not telling me to move on because obviously I love this person! THank you!" Which means you won't accept no for an answer.

    So my question to you is... what do you want from us? You have clearly come to your own answer...

    • Actually, I want to know if there is a chance he is waiting for me to contact him?

      All of his attention-seeking behavior has been going on and off for six months. I don't even think it is his ego why he has not contacted me, but maybe fear of rejection because he screwed up. So, should this be confronted? It is driving me nuts!


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    • Possibly. He certainly needed more than a year
      Then again, who knows how much time it takes though... I am sure he feels like a fool anyway or he wouldn't be checking on me! Maybe I will wait for awhile or until I really lose it! Lol

    • Your right! Go for it! Good luck!

  • Ah.. stay away from him.. you broke up for good reasons... You'll end up hurt again.


What Girls Said 1

  • No, don't contact him. The things that you think are "odd things" (copy login time and profile pic) are merely coincidences. If he was trying to get your attention, that's not what a guy would do to get it. If you're talking about Facebook, you should just delete and/or block him. I know doing that to someone you think you love would be hard, but it would be the best thing for you. That way, you won't see what he has been up to and eventually you will move on. You seem like you're just trying to find a reason to talk to him. Based on what you wrote, I can't find any reason that you should contact him. You shouldn't contact him.

    I went through something very similar and blocked the guy... it helped a lot. It's probably not the answer you want to hear, but you will eventually move on. It may take months or years to move on, but it will happen. Trust me.


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