Is it possible for someone to make you insecure?

i have been with my boyfriend for just over a year now and I believe he has made me insecure (about our relationship). In past relationships I hardly ever fought with my partner and I trusted them almost completely. My current boyfriend and I have fights about once every 1-2 weeks and sometimes more than once a week. In the beginning he had trust issues (that he said) developed because his ex ended up going out with someone she said she would never like or go out with. So he used to frequently check my phone calls to see who I had been calling, he had to know all my passwords to things, he had to know who I was with at all times and what I was doing. Over the year we have been dating this has lightened up a bit, however, I feel like the roles have switched. I am always thinking that he is up to no good and is doing something behind my back with other girls. He has never cheated on me (that I know of...) and I have never cheated on him. I feel really insecure and suspicious and it's getting worse. He is constantly talking about how this girl is cute or this girl is hott and I don;t like it and I tell him that and he doesn't stop. Sometimes I think he says this to GET me angry, and I have told him this as well. He has always been a flirty person and I have been as well, but he made it clear in the beginning of our relationship that it was not okay to flirt anymore, so I have stopped yet he admits to still flirting! I feel like this has added to the insecurity. Sometimes I feel like he says things and doesn't mean them, so I don't take them to the heart because I feel like he is just saying it to say it. He says he loves me and even would like to marry me and I DO feel the same way but at the same time doubt if it will ever happen.

I don't know where this insecurity came from and I want it to go away!

Please HELP!


Most Helpful Guy

  • You have started to mirror his behaviour, he is giving you reason to be conserned he is talking about other girls, is flirty with others even if he know you don't like it, its almost like he is try ing to make you break up with him, you can't make someone stay in a relationship with you, checking phones, accounts etc is just policing possible cheating, this is his insercurity that you have adopted now, stop checking on him and worrying about it, if he is cheating nothing you can do about it , and even if he was what would you do end the relationship, does this relationship make you happy?


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What Guys Said 1

  • It sounds like you need to leave him alone for your emotional health. He's creating a severe paranoia passing his disease on and creating a web that keeps you with him despite your thoughts of wanting to escape what traps he's setting up.


What Girls Said 1

  • Your boyfriend is something,

    a relationship is based on many things but is also based on trust.

    If you feel insecure for whatever reason about him then that's a red flag. Listen to your gut.

    And I don't know about you but I know that it's not ok that my boyfriend is checking out girls while he's with me and saying out loud "she's hot" etc.

    I'd end it right there.

    He may say he loves you and wants to marry you, and I don't know him but, you can't really trust people's word so much now these days. This relationship has many problems and troubled feelings that shouldn't be there. YOU DESERVE BETTER.

    There are plenty of fish in the sea. He isn't the last guy on this earth and thank God, because I wouldn't go out let alone stay with him if he treated me like that even if my life depended on it.

    I say the sooner you leave him the better, so you don't waste time, and can find someone who will treat you better, make you feel like your his only love, and will be loyal to you. And won't check you calls constantly as if he doesn't trust you. And who knows maybe when you leave him he might see how he treated you and run back to you, but seriously, would you want to go back to all the pain again? or meet a man that will never want to hurt you like this.


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