Long story short, my ex boyfriend's mom passed away. I was with him for 2 years. I tried supporting him, went to the wake, the funeral. I was there trying to support him. He never spoke to me how he felt, what he was thinking, etc. He just wanted to be happy. He didn't want me asking him any questions about he felt, and that I had to talk to other people if I wanted to talk about him. Everytime I had problems, he would put me down. He would tell me to stop crying, act like an adult, grow up and he wouldn't give me a chance to feel sad. He didn't appreciate me being there to support me. He spoke about his problems with other people. I argued with him how he talks to his friends and grandmother about his problems, but he never lets me in. He got upset that I tried comparing myself to his friends and his grandmother and that I disrespected them. His argument was that he known his friends 11 plus years, and that he never sees them and the one time he gets to talk to them, I get "mad", and it's only because he never talks to me about anything. He calls me crazy for "starting the argument and saying things like that." He doesn't want to get deep with anything with me. I broke up with him, but I wanted to end things on good terms. He won't talk to me, and that he's completely pushing me away. I don't know if I'm doing anything wrong. There was no communication in our relationship and I was trying to talk to him. He didn't want to talk. I don't know, I feel like I'm going crazy.
Broke up with my boyfriend for a good reason? I feel like I'm going crazy?
What Guys Said 3
First of all, you don't need to justify to anyone but yourself whether a relationship is satisfying for you or is not.
Secondly, his needs are clearly different from yours. My wife and I have discussed this very issue -- when she is troubled and distressed she wants to be left alone; I want to be touched. Recently when I was having a bad day she wanted to do something for me. She announced at the end of the day that she had polished my shoes. I had to laugh. She did for me what she wants to do for her when she is stressed. Personally, I don't care about whether my shoes are shined or not, I would rather have had a hug or a massage from her. For her, polished shoes are important and she prefers to be comforted with acts of service like that. My point is that you are not wrong and your ex-boyfriend -- you just need different things from one another.
Perhaps if each of you understood more clearly what the other needed, you could each do a better job of meeting one another's needs (instead of projecting your own needs onto the other). Or, maybe you and he are simply incompatible and unable to meet one another's needs. I cannot say which is the case -- that is for you to decide.
Just shrug and move on if he is going to be like that. His loss not yours0
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