Should I forgive my girlfriend for cheating?

I have just been going through this same thing with my girl...we have been together for a year and our relationship developed out of an affair that we had together while she was with her x. It started when I caught her sending x-rated photos of herself to about 10 random guys she keeps on her Facebook account...we broke up at that time but I folded and took her back. it is now march 2010 and I found out the hard way that she did actually sleep with a guy from the local area in december. I have been nothing but loyal to this girl and have treated her like gold since the day we first got together, I Believe all the infidelity these days is a result of SEX ADDICTION and its promoted to these girls at a young age that being a whore is acceptable. These days MEN are not the only DOGS as women everywhere portray, and more woman then men cheat! the bottom line is DO I or DON'T I try to work things out with her? and is ALCOHOL and a SCREWED UP CHILDHOOD an excuse for this sort of behavior?

Updates:
thanks for all the input people...much appreciated!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • its no excuse...if she has a track record of it then expect it to happen again. It has nothing to do with society either. She is just that way, not every girl is.

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What Girls Said 10

  • Mate! What are you like? Stop acting like a doormat, get rid of this girl and stop making excuses for her behaviour.

    There are plenty of girls who won't cheat on you. This relationship was doomed from the start..she was cheating on her boyfriend at the time to be with you when you first met her. Didn't this ring any alarm bells? She obviously wants to have her cake and eat it.

    Don't be a mug, you are better than this!

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  • she's not a child anymore and if she knows she has alcohol issues, she should send her ass to AA. so that being said, she should change her behavior.

    it's not your responsibility to change her, but I would find it hard to be with a guy who takes pictures of girls online like that is creepy and disgusting behavior. she cheated on you, forget her.

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  • NO NO NO! Dump her pronto! You said your relationship developed out of an affair that she had with you while she was cheating on her ex..BAD! You can't trust her to be faithful to you when she cheated on her previous boyfriend with you!CMON! I'm sorry but I don't believe in sex addicts and childhood trauma.It doesn't excuse what their doing and if it is the reason then they need to seek therapy.Bottom line is its not cool what she doing and obviously doesn't respect the relationship or you so why should she deserve to have one!She does it bcuz she wants to and bcuz you let her get away with it!And it isn't your problem to fix her only she can do that!I say move on and meet a nice girl whose single and respects relationships and monogamy!GOOD LUCK!

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  • she's going to cheat again so my advice is to just let her go. If you have treated her like they way you said you have then she doesn't deserve it. Hope everything works out :-)

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  • no; once a cheater always a cheater; I learned that by taking back my ex, who once again cheated on me 11 times in a year. No do Not trust her, kick her to the curb! Yes I am a girl saying this.

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  • dont forgive that hoe. move on, she will never respect you as a man because your gonna be that guy she laughs at with her friends like "i can do anything to this dude and he still takes me back I got him whipped!" there are plenty of girls out there who are not whores and will be faithful to you. but you are getting what you deserve because you began this affair while she was with another guy. so how does it feel to be played? this is your fault because you knew she was a whore when you got with her but you still found it necessary to enter a relationship with her so that just makes you dumb as her. you don't get any sympathy from me and I'm going to call you a whore as well since it takes 2 to tango

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  • A relationship started with cheating is obviously going to end in cheating.

    She clearly has a history of doing so, and no those aren't completely valid reasons; If she knows she does this while she's apparently drunk, She should be responsible enough to not drink that much. Everyone has issues in their life and/or childhood, Not all of them are sluts.

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  • i have been through something similar. Not quite as bad though. Cheating is cheating. My boyfriend cheated on me the first time we dated. I think he had cheated on everyone he had dated. We got back together a few months ago, and things are very different. He had to earn my trust back, and also he admitted that he had caused the breakup. He also has issues with drugs, which almost cost us to break up this time. I love him, but I also want to be happy. I honestly don't think I could forgive him agian if he cheated. I like you, am very loyal, and treat my boyfriend well. I treat him well, because that's the way it should be. I would listen to your heart, but also do not be a doormat. Life is way to short to put up with bad behvior:) good luck

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  • girls don't cheat more then guys(you can look it up)...you sound way to good for her..i say cut her loose for good

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  • alcohol or a messed up childhood is no reason to cheat on someone. I don't care who says so. there's no excuse in the world to make it ok. seeing as this girl has a record of being a little tramp, then dump her. you do not deserve someone like that.

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What Guys Said 15

  • I've been in your position before. I was cheated on in a serious relationship. I gave into stories of "blackmail" from one of her ex boyfriends. "He had some pictures and videos of them that he swore he's send to her family if she didn't have sex with him." Now, I know and told her that we should go to the police, but she claimed that her family would certainly find out if we did." Anyway, I took her back and contacted him and told him it was over and I knew the whole deal. Which of course he denied it was blackmail... In the end... I took her back and I found for the next year, I NEVER EVER TRUSTED HER. It drove me crazy lack of trust and how I was always wondering when it was going to happen next. In hindsight, I know that it was very unhealthy to live that way. I should have left her and I didn't. I will never make that mistake again.

    So my advice to you... move on, forget about her. Let her live her life the way she does and find someone that will be faithful to you and you won't have to worry if it's going to happen again. And by the way... IT WILL.

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  • Men need to learn to protect there hearts. we do this by dating and getting to know the person, the fact is if this girl has a history of cheating only shows she has no intergity and no self control, by getting involved in a person like that your just asking for pain. she didn't change for her exes and she won't change for you, don't allow your ego to tell you otherwise...

    If I were you I would end the relationship now, explain that your not interested in placing your trust in someone who can't even trust themself... if she can't understand that then you know she has no intention of trying to better herself, which is another way of saying she wouldn't care if she cheated again...

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  • Leave her, you got together be being the person she cheated with, then she cheated on you, just these two times alone in the same relationship are facts that she will continue to do it...so unless you want some1 that will be faithful to you through it all then leave her...it will continue. let her go. No, alcohol is no excuse, you accept to be with some1 then you give all that up...though possibly she was raped or something or needs more attention than the usual girl could create this problem she should have stopped and could have changed if she had stayed faithful. Unless on the other hand you just wanna be swingers, in this case tell her and have fun.

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  • i been through your stage having been cheated by my ex 2 time . Just let go and don't look back or else your heart will not be heal . There is a lot of girls out there will to care,love,cherish a realtionship to happiness and death. So bro don't think about it.

    Good luck on journey to a new relationship.

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  • NO. DO NOT FORGIVE HER! Trust me man... if you forgive her she will do it again. I know its hard but move on. your going to loose sleep but its better than getting your heart broken later down the road again. if she has issues that's causing her to cheat then let her deal with them before she gets into a relationship. Its going to be hard man... I know but do this for you... move on.

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  • You love her too much but she doent deserve even ur Sh*t!

    sorry bro but if you get on wid her she'll hurt you again,dese type of people never change,dey are addicted to sex!

    frm ur question it seems you hav not been succesful in getting over her,i suggest don't even talk to her,engage yourself wid frnds,family,find out time for yourself,etc.And bro a gr8 guy like you deserves better girl and deserving people never suffer,though sumtimes dey are in pain for sumtime.

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  • I don't believe in cheaters getting a second chance, because once you establish yourself as a cheater, you pretty much stay a cheater. And the possiblility of her (any cheater) doing it again is probably likely.

    I don't like the whole fact of taking them back because what's from stopping them doing it again. If they make an excuse about itnow, they will come up with another one later on as well, and they will continue on and on.

    I hate it when people blame alcohol for their behavior. This is why I don't condone drinking. As for the childhood, I know we are told to never forget where we brought up from and never forget where you came from but don't blame your child hood on your actions that are bad.

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  • You are now enlighted! What you choose to do withthis info is completely up to you. As for me, I ALWAYS left a relationship if I felt better alone than with the person. Sounds like you'd be better off without her. The fact that you've always been loyal indicates you might be really into her. If this is the case you gotta break free my man and dump her before she makes you look like more of a fool (by cheating) or perhaps gives you a disease. If you're not so attached call it what it is...she's a f*** buddy and not just yours I might add.

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  • If she cheated on her ex with you then why would you believe that she wouldn't do the same to you. I think you're much better off without her.

    And no I had the some kinda of childhood and I'm not going to go off and cheat on the girl I love.

    She's a bitch dumb her ass

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    • Dump her ass...dump her ass...dump her ass....EVERYBODY NOW...dump her ass...dump her ass...dump her ass....

  • Move on without the blame, you will be better for it in the long run and you do not need a chip on your shoulder when you find the next person.

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  • Don't predict other women are the same. I'd leave your current girl. Only if you feel she's worth the trouble, should you stay with her.

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  • She needs her wlking papers, JDru. Simply put- too many ladies out there to be putting up with some whorish woman like that. Get rid of her.

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  • nope leave her, find another girl. There are many faithful girls out there!

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  • no its not! f*** her one more time and drop that whore!

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  • NO...NO...and more NO...dude word to the wise...I found out only days after getting married to my wife that for about six months that she'd played with girls and f***ed some guy that she worked with. Got to looking deeper and found that she was the chaser on all of the affairs. Well she claims that she was drunk which is why the deal happened with the other girl. Not sure what the excuse is for f***ing the guy. Any how do your self a favor and stop trying to place some of the blame on promotions, alcohol, and messed up childhood. Look we all have things that we went through as kids growning up. We choose how we react to the temptations we face as men...as you said...and as I...were nothing but faithful and loyal to these women...I have said from day one if I'd known then what I know now I would have never married her. It's true still today. I don't trust her and I am sure I never will. There are so many women out there dude. Find one that you deserve. Someone that will be faithful to you and care about how hurt you would be if they actually were to cheat. You've learned a lot about yourself. Mark it up and move on man...you'll only be hurt over and over again and never will you trust her again. You'll always be wondering if she's being honest with you. Good luck.

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