Why do I do thiis man?

My ex girlfriend who I still love a lot but has a complex relationship with hurts me Lol
Like she said she wanted to see me when I came from school. I hit her up we talked most of the day and she bullshitted me. I know I can't and shouldn't be mad but I am. I like to feel that love /hate feeling about her for some reason I don't know it's like I get a high from it and that pain motivates me to write and draw. Or just because I feel all that raw emotion I just find somewhere to put it.
Why do I do thiis man?
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