Any advice for a dumpee 7 months after the breakup?

My boyfriend of 2 years decided to dump me 7 months ago. At first he told me that he wanted a break for a few months and insisted that we stay friends. He never game me a real answer. Instead he would tell me "I'm too busy to be in a relationship right now" or "you're too affectionate" or "it's not the right time to be together". After a month of not getting anywhere I told him that I couldn't handle being on the back burner and that we should consider this an actual breakup. About a month after that we talked and he told me that he missed me but that he wasn't ready to be in a relationship right now and once again insisted that we remain friends. After that I went into no contact but I broke no contact during Thanksgiving and over my winter break. He would respond in a short yet polite way and I had hoped that we could get back onto speaking terms. However, after talking with friends and seeing his actions (excessive partying/drinking/flirting) I realized that I couldn't sit around waiting for him to reach out to me, so I stopped texting him. A couple months have gone by since then and he never texted me on my birthday and when I see him in public he doesn't say hi yet he stares at me.

In fact, the other night I went out to the bars with my friends and saw him there. Seeing him always makes my stomach drop and I feel incredibly sick. He didn't say anything to me but when I went to dance with a guy friend of mine I noticed that he was staring at me and eventually grabbed a girl to dance with as well.

I'm not sure if I'm reading too much into this or if he was jealous/ still cares, but seeing him again makes me realize how much I still miss him.

Is there a chance that maybe he'll reach out or does it seem obvious that he's moved on?

I've been trying to improve myself by working out, hanging out with friends, seeing a therapist, and going on a few dates. Despite my months of progress I still really miss my first love and can't seem to get over him.


Most Helpful Girl

  • There could be many reasons why he's not reached out. You made it clear that you still cared for him, yet he cited reasons such as not being able to right now, effectively dragging you along and having you as a back up. I've been through this before and I know it's difficult. 7 months is a decent amount of time but I find that you still care and still love them even after all of that time.
    Just remember that he had his chance to contact you... He has every chance to reach out to you and tell you he made a mistake. However he's either too stubborn (which i doubt considering his earlier responses), or he simply likes the attention and knowing that he still has you.
    I don't honestly think we ever get over our first love. In time our love for them fades, but we will always remember them and still care (unless they did something truly horrible).
    If you want him back I don't think there's anything you can do on your end. It has to come from him. He has to prove that he loves you now. But, there are over 7 billion people on earth. There are many more guys who will love you much more than him, a guy who is perfect for you and you for him.
    Continue to look after yourself and be civil towards him. However, right now you need to slowly try to heal and move on from him.

    • Thank you for your advice and kind words! This has been so difficult for me and I find comfort in whatever advice I can get.

    • :) Thanks for the MHO. Just know you're not alone and going through something like this makes way for better things.

What Guys Said 1

What Girls Said 1

  • ok hunny this crucial... listen to me carefully. He dumped you, there is a great possibility that he might be regretting his choice. I've been here before so listen... for the next 30 days you are going to focus on you and you alone. that means no answering his text, phone calls, emails, NOTHING! you are going to go to the gym and get smoking hot, you're going to get a makeover, and if you're still friends with him on any social website LET HIM SEE YOU HAVING FUN. Pay him no mind, it annoys men when they dont have your attention. go to exboyfriendrecovery. com. It explains everything in details of what and waht not to do when youve been dumped. Good luck hun

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