Help. friends with benefits situation?

I'm just wondering if anyone could shed some light on my situation. Been in a friends with benefits situation with and older guy for one year and 6 months, we also spent time together. now after about a year I started to develop feelings I told him and he knew about it but we carried on as normal. As time has went on its got the better of me and I've turned crazy physco and somewhat obsessed, i couldn't help calling and texting him but we would always ending uo forgetting about it and back to the same old situation. He never said he didn't have feelings for me but he never said he did either and I beleived he did. The first time it went to far which ia about 2 months ago now he told me he didn't have feelings I need to move on its for the best and there is no need for us to hate each other, I fully accepted that let go and was moving on. 3 weeks after that he messages me out the blue thinking it's all a big joke and game saying I know you thought you would never hear from me again and that I have would have deleted your number by now. I'm pretty angry about, he came back after all that was talked about and ending on good terms I know I shouldn't of replied and should of ignored his messages but as we all know it's easier said than done. Now I'm back to square one where I have text and called again last night and he's ignored me and then finally replied saying to stop getting in contact with him and delete his number. I think this time he is being serious and not coming back even though he always has previously I beleive this time he's done and it's so hard for me to accept it all over again. How can I accept this let go and move on from it for real and not go back like time and time again?


Most Helpful Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Was he drunk or something? Did you sleep with him when he contacted you last time? Either he just wanted to get laid again but still doesn't want you, or he was drunk and wanted to get laid and made a bad decision and regretted it. Either way, it unfortunately does not sound like he has similar feelings or is even interested in you. But, absolutely do no think you did something wrong, this guy sucks. He is playing with you and your feelings and he is a douche for that, run far away from him and find someone that will treat you the way you should be treated.

    • Yes he was drunk and I did sleep with him. I've never been in a situation like this before and should of listened too all the red flags he's used me, played me and messed with my feelings from the start. It's hard and it hurts just hope I can get over this and move on.

    • Of course you can get over it and move on. It may not seem like it now and I am sure it sucks really bad right now. But you will be fine. Remember it was not an actual relationship that went the way it should have maybe that will make it a little easier. You can look forward to a real relationship now.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Because you got that much obsessed with him, you might have told yourself that he liked you, so most likely that's the reason why you stick with believing that. But he told you that this was wrong, and you can't prove it, so you have to believe him. So get things straight, deal with it like he broke your heart, anyways you have to forget him. You could find another friend with benefits and have the same obsession about him, maybe that will work.

    • Yes your right! I didn't know where I stood ever and I was obsessed with knowing where i stood and if he had feelings or cared for me, that it took over my life. I think in this case everyone's advice stands true and the only way I will forget about him is distractions what ever they may be.

  • Only way is to find another guy so you won't think about him so much or miss what you had, seems like it's for real this time

    • Yes I was thinking the same that he really is done this time and not interested. Just find it hard to understand why he came back. I can't help still hope that he will come back again but reality is saying it's not going to happen.

    • Yeah your just prolonging the inevitable

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