Need reassurance: I'm being gaslighted and she's spreading slander after out break-up?

After a major breakup months ago, I have been detailed rather troubling news what my ex has been voicing around during our separation. Not only was I emotionally, physically, and sexually abused, but now have to deal with post-breakup issues that don't make any sense to me. I have been isolated by the slander and I've gone into a major depression because of it.

For all sake of my sanity, I am interpreting what she said wrong?

She says: "You and I both need help. This won't take days, weeks, but months. I won't find someone new and I doubt you will either. Maybe after awhile we can try it again and maybe be friends. Goodbye, I love you."

I took that as we would probably, more than likely, get back together at some point. I'm being told I am a jealous psycho that should go kill myself; and she is claiming she only said "We both need help, maybe we can be friends after."

I have no interest in getting back together with her anymore. Maybe in the future if she seeks professional help, but right now I am only focusing on myself and getting help. However, for all sake of my sanity, was I wrong to make that assumption?
I should also include: "You will know what to say when the time is right."
She also said: "I don't want to lose you."


Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Your assumption isn't wrong, I don't think it is. But you are gonna need to take that assumption and throw that shit out the window. Why? Because of you, you need to keep doing what you're doing, and that's getting the help you need. And even after you both get help, it'd be better to start over with someone new, than go back to the person who threw you into a dark hole. It wouldn't be healthy for either of you. So continue to make progress with yourself, be strong, and be happy again.


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What Girls Said 1

  • It seems she recognises the relationship was a toxic one , after seeking help she is hoping they'll be a possibility of you both eventually becoming friends or maybe more.

    It seems she acknowledges her behaviour is the cause of you both not being together, so believes therapy will help you both to change , therefore the relationship would be a healthier one , if you get back together.

    Personally, I'd have nothing to so with her ever again. I'd cut all means of contact and try to move on from her.


What Guys Said 2

  • this description of 'gaslighting' might help you:

    • What am I suppose to draw from this, that she is a sociopath?

    • Manipulative, I'd say. 'Sociopath' is an ill defined concept in my opinion.

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