Why couldn't he love me back?

We were together for 5 years, we had ups and downs but I was truly devoted and optimistic about our relationship. I loved him and still do. He hurt me deeply with his drinking, verbal mistreatments and put downs. I am having a hard time acccepting that someone I loved very much could have treated me this way.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • don't build your hopes in someone worship drinking bottle more than you.
    be smart enough to walk away from the negativity around you… it's never worth your while, ever.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • When he was good he was good and u tell yourself that's the real him? When he acted up you tried to 'put yourself in his shoes' and justify why he was acting that way or think you must be misunderstanding him. Been there done that got the tshirt.

    What it comes down to is this - Someone who puts you down - does not love you and does not care about you. No matter what he says or does when he is having a 'good' day.

    Of course now you see this... now you're blinkers are off and it hurts so much and you just want to go back to being oblivious to it. But you must not. Because if you do, you will spend your life constantly trying to obtain love from a man who only cares about himself. Its not possible and that's not you're fault, its not you that's broken. Its him. And he cannot be fixed. By you or anyone else.

    Work on learning to love yourself and protect yourself, take up a hobby, join a class and every morning tell yourself in the mirror 'I am worth a person who loves me for me'. Work on moving forwards and not looking back. Good luck.

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What Guys Said 2

  • if he was with u for 5 years, he loved you. if he learned to do so is the mystery.

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  • One sided love is much like a one legged man a butt kicking contest.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Breaking up with someone that you love is never an easy thing to do. Does he suffer with being an alcoholic? If the answer is yes then perhaps his actions are out of his control and he might need some help in some way.
    explore everything before giving up and give him a chance to show up in the relationship and see how it goes. chances are he can do it and be a better person.

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  • get advice about Narcissists, I don't know how your relationship is really like, but It sounds a lot like one I had, and it took me forever after he dumped me to get over him, ie over a year :(

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  • i have a better question. why did you love him despite how he treated you?

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