Can someone give me an example of men trying to SOLVE problems, rather than just LISTENING?

I hear this , as complaint a lot & honestly, I can not say that that is something that I really have noticed as being a problem.. Tho I do like to solve things, I still I do not notice this as being a problem particular to MEN.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • All men possess' an analytical part of the brain that thinks about problems and finds solutions. When some men hear a problem, they cannot help but try to solve it.

    EX: If a girl is spouting about problems at work, a man may try and come up with a solution, something she could do to make the situation better, rather than be a sympathetic ear for her to vent to.

    Like:

    Girl: Honey, I'm so strung out! Susan, is acting all bitchy and won't talk to me!

    Boy: Well, maybe you should talk to her, and try and reconcile things.

    OR

    Boy: (nodding consolingly) It's okay baby, you're home now.

    While this is a rather bad example, it shows the difference in solving (1) or listening (2). However most such situations are not quite so easily solved.

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    • If a friend of mine told me : " I'm so strung out! Susan, is acting all bitchy and won't talk to me! "

      I would ask what she thought was the problem, & discuss wether or not she could, should, would, DO anything to fix it, & whatever else might think of to get to the BOTTOM of it depending wether the GIRL was REALLY MAD at SUSAN or just in a bad mood..

      What YOU said makes sense, I just do not see how it is different from what I would do & I a a GIRL.

      "..analytical part of the brain...-

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    • I think I mean a larger portion of a man's brain is devoted to problem solving, but I could be wrong.

      I am unsure of the general feeling of women on this topic.

    • " I think I mean a larger portion of a man's brain is devoted to problem solving, but I could be wrong.

      I am unsure of the general feeling of women on this topic. "

      So a lesser portion & more analyzing = less reason cause there is not enough squared footage of analytical space " Female Brain" ?

      " I am unsure of the general feeling of women on this topic."

      :-) -If it was not extreme annoyance I would be very surprised & probably debate moving to another planet ^^

      - I'm curious tho*

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What Guys Said 2

  • Personally I hate that. There have been times when I just wanted to get stuff off my chest and all I get back is simple solutions that I've already thought of. It's happens to men and women. I don't have a particular example for you though.

    But generally men tend to offer solutions more. When a guy encounters a problem that stresses him out inside he wants to retreat and be alone for a while and just think about it. He probably won't be in any mood for chatting but would want a solution to alleviate the problem as soon as possible.

    When women experience this they tend to do the opposite. Talking a problem out makes them feel better and when they bottle it up it gets worse. Generally speaking we tend to offer the type of feedback that we think would best console us when we're in the same situation. That said it isn't black and white and can easily be the other way around too.

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    • I still don't get t. I keep heating the SAME thing over& over again, & I still just don't see difference, between genders people yeah not Gender.

      when someone I knows a problem, I listen, I think about t, I usually SAY SOMETHING to try to ease their mind WHILE I a thinking about a solution.

      I may retreat if it is an actual REL problem, but I NEVER don't try to SOLVE it.

      I mean I figure that is human instinct.. Often times I try to solve it BEFORE I finish listening,so I have I CHECK myself^

  • If you want someone to listen to you, "talk to a girlfriend or your mother". Men for the most part aren't listeners. We don't want to sit around and stew on the emotional issues that are our daily problems. If there is problem we fix it. That's just how we are.

    Don't get me wrong, men can certainly listen from time to time, that is if a football game isn't currently on.

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    • Lol I hear what you said aboe, &rtat is not the experience that I THINK tht I have with men, so I was curious for an EXAMPLE of what - NOT LISTENING would be.

      I for one LOVE solvong problems, &i am careful tolidstento what peole are saying because if yiu dib;t oay attention you will be of little help..

      What is a exmple of LISTENING vs. solving.. It is more the SITTING AROUND & STEWING, that I find to be very UN - familiar....

      I don't do that I don't like to do that, & I AVOID people who DO*

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