How to get over someone who used you?

I am struggling to get over this girl, a coworker.

I started falling for her, and I really thought she liked me back, the flirting, signs, always happy to see me...

I asked her out and she rejected me, and I found out she had a boyfriend.

I look back now, and I just feel like an idiot. All the signs I missed, and the stuff I said and did for her...

I feel extremely used, rejected, and heartbroken... I realized she was just using myself for attention, to make her boyfriend jealous and to boost her confidence... She didn't like me at all... This has ruined my self confidence, respect, I just feel worthless and she is so much better than me.

It's been one year, and I still have some sort of feelings towards her. I think this is because I still see her in person almost everyday.

I try to limit contact as much as possible, but it's hard when I am stuck at this job.

It's also hard as I can't seem to find a girl to date, which is not helping... It's a rolling ball of rejection...

I just don't know what to do about this girl, how to get over her and how to make myself feel better... I feel worse because it's been a year and I still am thinking about her... She is still on my mind, I feel pathetic.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Gosh reading that just broke my heart. I'm sorry you are going through that. the heart wants what it wants. And you've obviously put a lot of efforts towards her and being used just really fucks you up. I'm actually going through the same thing myself except he doesn't have a girlfriend.

    • I'm really sorry that you are going through the same thing as well :(

      It really just drains you, I can't seem to recover and it's been a year.

    • Show All
    • Thank-you :)

    • You are welcome my friend!

Most Helpful Guy

  • You're not going to be able to do anything as long as your mindset is where it's at. There are other ways to look at this situation. In stead you have convinced yourself that you are a victim. Even if you are a victim you can't let it become a pity party. Time to pull yourself back up again. The best thing you can do right now is challenge yourself. If you have to make her the villain, make her the villain, but you need to start forcing yourself to move forward. If you can't... try to surround yourself with other guys who will help carry you. If you can't do that... the rest of us are simply going to trample you as we move forward. This probably sounds harsh, but it's true. It's what I needed to hear when I was in your shoes.


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What Girls Said 3

  • Are you sure she was using you for attention and to make her boyfriend jealous? Maybe she thought of you as a friend and reliable coworker and was being friendly? Either way, try to meet new people, or develop new non serious crushes. Bitterness and resentment just keep her in your mind longer. Get over those feelings and let that go. It'll be much easier to move on. At least from my personal experience

    • I really think she did, everything just makes sense, I guess I never know... But I feel really hurt.

      The second thing is, I am having a hard time meeting new girls, I am looking for anyone to talk to or even go out as friends, I am not even picky...

      Another problem is that, I have had lots of crushes before, but this was the first time I actually fell in love with a girl... And I just can't seem to find a new girl to crush on, I just feel hurt, my heart is different now, Its more protected

    • Yeah. That happens. Id suggest actually even looking on tindr when you're ready. I know a few people who've really had success with it. Otherwise you can ask other friends if they have any girl friends and if you all could just hang out. Its ok to be on guard a bit. Just try to heal and when you get to actually know someone (and whether they're single or not) you can decide then if it's worth the risk. With time, the answer usually is that it is worth it more often.

  • I'm sorry to hear that! Try to distract yourself with things you like to do. Go on adventures, hiking etc, just try to keep ur mind and body busy. I know how it feels and I hope you get better soon...

    • Thanks,

      I notice when I do start doing things I feel better, the problem is when I have to see her at work all that progress is gone. I go back to square one.

  • I don't know hun I've went back to a guy now its four times and all he did was lead me on made me believe I was special... and don't work I feel crazy so


What Guys Said 2

  • Work on challenging things you can control. Work on eating well, getting good sleep, and lift. Meditate, get some sun, and try to see her as a friend. While the things you can control will make you feel better about yourself, and maybe you can develop a strong relationship as friends.

  • Stop this nonsense ASAP unless you like to be used go ahead and contact her. Go away on vacation, bang a new chick do whatever you can do to get over it


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