How many chances?

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 3 years. I moved in with him out of state after he got a new job about a year into the relationship. About 8 months later, I found out that he had been on a dating site. He had been talking to other women off and on the whole time and even met up with someone in the time period before I relocated. I forgave him and several months later found that he was messaging someone else and had planned on meeting up with her. I threatened to move out and started that process. He begged me to stay and had us do counseling. Now I find he's doing the same thing. He's once again begging me to stay and talking about all the changes he'll make. I don't believe that he's cheated on me but I don't trust him anymore. I feel that he is sincere and loves me and I love him but I still feel like I should continue the process of moving out and ending the relationship.

He's asking what he can do to make things better and move forward. I love him with all my heart so I want to believe him but I still feel that I should let it go. How many chances does someone need to get it right?


Most Helpful Guy

  • He showed that he clearly can't be trusted. I think you've given him too many chances already. I wouldn't recommend you to give him another chance because I don't think this is gonna stop, he can't control himself. You'll only suffer if you continue with him. This time it's better for your relationship to end in my opinion.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I wouldn't have even given him a second chance. This is the reason why forgiving a betrayal is naive. Once someone betrays your trust and you forgive them, you are actually setting your own standards of how that person treats you. Raise your standards and set boundaries. If you don't, then you'll be treated by his standards

    Sometimes people only change when they finally lose someone precious to them. If hurting you isn't the catalyst to make him change, then I don't think anything will help him. You can't help him, the change has to come from within himself.

    If a person cheats or betrays you in anyway , then that will always be their potential with you. I'd let go and move on. This isn't the kind of love I would accept from anyone. What you put up with is what you end up with. He has proven that to you time and time again.


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • 3 chances, no more.


What Girls Said 1

  • Zero. If he loved you he wouldn't have been doing that stuff at all. He's not going to change.


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