Did I make myself too available?

I met a guy in his mid 40s. We had mutual friends and I'd told him about one of his friends being my ex. On our 2nd date he told me he'd seen him and told him about us. I was taken back as we'd only just begun. After out 3rd date he said he wanted to be more than friends. We began dating. Over the course of about 10 wks he'd introduced me to people, met my kids and told me he loved me and that I was special to him. He suddenly goes quiet after little lack of communication. I was pulling back a little as I was worried he'd might not of really meant what he'd said. I was testing him. He then cuts me off via text saying he doesn't think it will work long term because of the every other weekend and his commitments to sports etc. I'm a little shocked at his sudden exit with no contact for over a week.
i was wondering if I'd been too available to him and given him a relationship to fast. Why cut me off and not even apologise for hurting me?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Men HATE to be tested.

    You screw it up.

    Im sure he meant it but since you wanted to test him out he ran away, and good for him.

    He is better off

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If he really loved you, I don't think he'd be so ready and able to ice you out like that, that seems odd. I got a little afraid about starting a new relationship and putting myself out there, I tried to end things, but my partner chased me the hell down with a million long messages saying he was falling for me. I think even if you seemed available and keen as a bean, even if he had some fears of getting involved quickly, he would have been there and made it work instead of making those poor excuses and hurting you. Move on, sister. You deserve much better, I think!

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What Guys Said 2

  • For some people apologizing is hard.

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  • I doubt it.

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What Girls Said 3

  • I think when he didn't contact for the week was because he was thinking about ending things and maybe didn't know how, but then decided to by text. All I can say is people choose to end things by text because it's not confrontational and quick and easy for them. It's wrong for him not to apologize for hurting you, just shows he's a jerk. I went through the same thing with an ex last year who broke up with me through text, and it hurt but it just showed me how much of an asshole he was.

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  • You never know what goes on in the mind of another. The questions you have will always remain unanswered , no matter what reasonable explanation you come up with for his behavior.
    Just move on.
    it hurts... I know , but best to carry your dignity and allow yourself to look un-phased if he does see you.

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  • Hey I think you two were moving too fast to begin with. Next time do not introduce your children to the man so quickly. Some men will run when they feel like a commitment is on its way. Moreover, they tend to give the its not me its you excuse when they fear commitment. I do not think you made yourself too available but you did let your guard down too fast. Just use this a lesson for what not to do in your next relationship

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