Should I get back with my ex, knowing that we both adored each other but we decided to break up because of my painful past?

We broke up about a month ago. It was harder for him than it was for me, but I'm starting to miss him. I didn't want to be in a relationship because of a past heartbreak which he knew about. We had talked about it more than once and, even though he was a bit insistent in putting a label on us, I was terrified of starting something and getting attached. Also, I wanted to keep some freedom that being in a relationship did not let me have (I have lots of guy friends and I hang with them all the time and he was bummed by it). Now, I feel like I'm "emotionally fixed" enough to be with someone. He is perfect to me, I adore him and he really has and is everything I want in a man. I am thinking about asking him if he would give it a try again and go at a slow pace so I don't feel too scared.
My only concern is that I'm afraid that I might actually miss the idea of him and not him, actually. Do you guys know how to make the difference between missing someone and missing their presence in your life?


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What Guys Said 2

  • If you can look within yourself and honestly say that you are prepared to be vulnerable again with this new guy than I think you should go for it.

    Just be very cautiously though, the slower pace you take it the less likely it will burn into flames. Be honest with him, tell him you miss his presence, don't say you want to start dating him, because you aren't ready. That doesn't mean he can't still be in your life.

    • After we broke up, he tried keeping in touch but, being excited of being single again, I was a bit cold to him (yea, I messed up) but I didn't mean to kick him out of my life. We see each other pretty much every Friday because we go to the same Latin dance club so it's inevitable to avoid him. We always danced together and we're trying to keep the "tradition" going on, but it's not the same. He doesn't even look at me in the eyes anymore..

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    • I will try that.
      But what should I say not to make him too nervous? Should I tell him how I feel or not?

    • Be honest with him about why you behaved the way you did and depending on how he reacts you can tell him how you feel. You have to feel out the situation. Don't over complicate it, if you both like each other it should all flow naturally

  • You where not prepared at that time. Now you are. And you guys seem to like each other a lot. Give it another try!!! Tell him what's going on your mind, be honest and good things might happen :D


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