How long should you wait before contacting your EX?

He broke up with me 5 days ago and it's been really hard for me :( there was no cheating involved, just bad timing because he wants to focus more time on other things etc. hurts because he spends 4 days a week with his group of friends going to church, playing music etc and I asked to join but he wouldn't let me. Sucks cos I'm good at piano/composing and he wouldn't let me help his new band.
Well god is good cos there's a well established band which contacted me about joining and I'm over the moon.

However I'd still like to remain friends with my ex cos we had an awesome friendship as well as relationship. I called him twice and he said to just get on with my life FOR NOW. And he got mad when I kept texting him a lot. So how long should I wait before contacting? Thanks!!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • That's the thing I don't like quitting either. I waited a couple days and gave in. She was on her period when she dumped me and she had traumatic news the night before a surprise pregnancy with her sister in law and she was all bent out of shape about her brother not telling them

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    • Thanks man for ur comment. Did you get back together?

    • No not sure if we will. She told me she's emotional on her period not sure if I should give up or mention that to her? She said she felt hopeless... sounded depressed to me her family has mental health issues

Most Helpful Girl

  • Remaining friends after a break up I don't think is the right way to go. You two need time heal and give each other space before you can be friends again but that's up to you. I wouldn't want for an ex contact me. They are your ex and they are an ex for a reason. Do not contact him whatsoever unless he initiates contact first. If he wants you back in his life, let him do the chasing. Just focus on yourself and continue doing what you are doing. Find things to distract yourself with so you can keep your mind off of him and on bigger and better things. Just do you and focus on yourself.

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What Guys Said 15

  • Being friends after a relationship breakup is impossible and always a lie when one says that. It's over permanently and you won't be friends ever. He was too pussy to tell you the truth

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  • I say if he's being rude about it just move forward and try to leave him be for quite a long while like three to five months or so. Till then just do your thing and enjoy your own life. I'm sure come the to! e that you may want to text him you may not care to. The key is just to be happy in your own life and to pray that he lives well and move forward. Well that's my two cents in it I hope it helped in some way.

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  • never contact or answer his calls, this is why they call it "EX" means in the past, gone for ever, didn't work out not the right person bla bla bla
    no body stops reading a story at some point and goes back to reading old pages instead of the remaining pages !
    be wise and stronger and forget about him and continue your life !

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  • Not to be mean but what part of him putting you out of his life are you confused on. He seems to have a full plate trying to make this band work out and he declined to make you a part of it. It's time to accept that and as he said move on. Unless he changes his mind and tells you that contacting him is cool then any contact will be viewed badly

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  • Oh oh! I think you need to move on. Maybe you should get in touch with him, after you're over him when he realises this. It's weird reverse psychology.

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  • I think you should just move on and not contact him at all anymore. He's made it clear that he doesn't want you in his life

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  • I would want a good piano player in my band. Especially one who could compose and knew theory. I'm sorry this happened to you.

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  • Don't contact him at all.

    Get in with your life.

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  • I burn my bridges. An x is an x is an x and I don't think prolonging the agony is at all helpful.
    In 1972 my girlfriend at the time dumped me. In 2010 I ran into her at a ballet. Still gorgeous. Hadn't gained an ounce. She was sitting one row ahead and 4 or 5 seats to my left. At the interval she was standing near the door obviously waiting for me. No ego here, she was watching me approach her. I walked past her and immediately after the performance changed my season's subscription to a different day & time.

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  • Wait till he contacts you i think and maybe then you don't want anymore

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  • As a Christian myself. It's better if you do move on. God has someone better for you.

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    • Thanks for the encouragement! :) yeahhh I need to connect with God more I feel
      Take care and God bless!

  • At least a lifetime..

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  • 6 months. at best.. .3

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  • Why don't you just accept a no?

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  • Three months at a minimum. Preferably 6months to a year.

    Of course, every situation is unique. If you two realized that there just wasn't much of a romantic spark then you could make it a few days. But hey, I doubt that is the case.

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What Girls Said 8

  • Don't text him at all! He's made it clear he's not interested in hearing from you. At some point he'll change his mind and reach out to you but that won't happen as long as you continue to call him while he's not interested.

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  • Wait for him to contact you but try not to hold onto hope

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  • Why do you have to contact your ex? That's why they call him ex. Don't appear like a fool. Don't contact him at all

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  • I honestly think you should move on, focus on yourself and do things you want to do, don't worry on him and just focus on you.

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  • We broke up, didn't talk for 2 days, then stayed friends for 2 weeks and talked daily, then got back together.

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    • I contacted him first after the break up although he was the one ending it.

  • Well he doesn't seem like he wants to be bothered so I'd take his advice if I were you. Get on with your life.

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  • I don't know I am trying to figure that out by myself. but having him pushing me away hurts the most.

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  • Focus on your music. Sorry it didn't work out. It happens, you are young, talented and beautiful. Someone else will appreciate you. Be good to yourself.

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