Ex cock-blocking me?

So my ex and I broke up about 10 months ago now, we stayed friends but did have a few months apart before we became friends again. About 3 weeks ago we slept together, went on a few dates and were really considering getting back together but decided not enough had changed to try the relationship again so we came to the decision to just stay friends and keep it how it was. Obviously we have feelings for eachother and we have told eachother that but they just aren't strong enough to act on them I guess alongside the changes that haven't been made.

So last night I went to a mates birthday at a bar my ex was there as he's good mates with this guy too. A guy that I went to school with was also there I haven't seen him in awhile I've never been interested in this guy and my ex didn't know that we were friends. On the way to the bar in the taxi apparently my ex was saying to this guy I went to school with "my ex is going to be there tonight and then said what my name was" my guy friend was like oh yeah I know her sort of thing... I feel like there's been a few incidents where he's said something similar to that to people that we don't really know that well and sometimes to people he just meets. I know for 100% certainity that this isn't the first time he has done it and its not just something that has been happening recently however it had been awhile since he did it last.

My question is why do you think he does this? is he trying to cock-block me I don't understand (Im not the type to hook up with random guys anyway so if it doesn't make a difference to me really) I have noticed that it has always been guys that he mentions it to. I know he has no problem hanging out with me I mean we hang out in group situatons all the time because we have mutual friends who we both see a lot so its not like its weird or anything, I just don't understand why he feels the need to make it clear to everyone that im his ex...

All opinions much appreciated- thank you in advance.

Updates:
If you are going to comment on a friendship with an ex being a bad idea do not waste your time. I would also like to add that our 'friendship' is more like acquaintances.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Why are you spending time with someone with whom you have no future? Doesn't that just get in the way of you moving forward? This drama is a great example of the problems you have when you try this. Admit what you are doing - hanging on to the hope of a reunion and that stops you from moving on!

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    • What do you mean no future, I don't see why ex's cannot be friends I would consider having a friendship a future. I get that its not a real friendship if feelings are involved but I don't feel like these feelings are strong enough to affect having a friendship with him. We are both on the same page in regards to this which is all you really need for it to work. We haven't completely cut off the idea of getting back together but we haven't addressed that is the goal either I don't want expectations as they lead to the possibility of disappointments. I am moving on I honestly think I would be happy for him if he was to find someone else and I am not stopping myself from finding someone because of him either. Im very much a whatever happens happens kind of person and I like things to happen naturally if that's how its meant to be.

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    • I don't need to hear that you don't recommend a friendship with an ex, that is what most people think also. I know that it isn't always a good idea and a friendship is complicated and comes with extra hurdles when it comes to an ex. Our 'friendship' is more like acquaintances he's at events that im at sometimes, we talk when we are at these events briefly or if we have something to talk about, he doesn't know personal information and neither do I. The reason it is like this is purely because of mutual friends so that it isn't uncomfortable for anyone. If I had an ex whom I didn't have mutual friends with then I probably wouldn't stay 'friends' and I haven't for any past ex's but sometimes circumstances get in the way.

    • "Our 'friendship' is more like acquaintances" except that when most people are talking about "acquaintances." they don't ask "is he trying to cock-block me?" Who needs "friends" like that?

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think the only way this can be resolved is by talking to him. Asking him from refraining introducing you as his ex to other people and just calling you his friend, because technically after your talk you are friends.

    I kind of agree, calling a person an ex to people they don't know kind of gives them a bad connotation. And can definitely cock-block a person. Maybe these guys think that when this guy is introducing you as his ex, he is kind of staking a claim on you. Those guys back off, because they don't know you and they feel there is more history with your ex than they would have. So they back off.

    He may not be doing it intentionally, but it could be something subconsciously he does. But still, he needs to be aware he does it and that it's not okay.

    It can definitely be hard to watch an ex talk with other people and see the possibility of them moving on as a threat to a persons's ego. Maybe this is why he is doing it. He's nervous you will move on, even though you two are just friends.

    Either way, you need to talk to him and let him know this isn't something you are comfortable with.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 3

  • It sounds like your ex is trying to keep guys away from you in order to keep you in his life as an option to date again. You shouldn't have to deal with this and you should calmly talk to him about that privately. If he responds negatively this guy isn't worth it. Nothing is worse than a possessive, controlling man. But if its positive than give him a chance. He might still value your relationship even more than you do. But it's not acceptable for him to have a clear name and you are always known as "that guys ex."

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  • thank apple! He gone!

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    • dont make apple your god!

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    • @doineedthis I wasn't talking to you haha, but I would also like to add that I didn't write this comment so I think you're getting confused.

    • oh yeah you red too haha can I ask you if that guy doesn't treat you well then what you doing tonight?

  • Oh the drama! Why is he even remotly in the picture?

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    • There really isn't any drama to be honest and drama that has been faced has been easily resolved with communication. Just because you may not personally want friendships with your ex-partners doesn't mean that they are not possible I would also like to add that your comment isn't REMOTLY an answer to what I asked so unless you are going to give me some insight into my actual question then your opinion is unwelcome, thank you.

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