I need help on starting contact with ex?

The breakup was mutual about a week ago. Haven't talked to her since then and it was an on and off relationship. We go to different schools and the big issue was I think not seeing each other and that would lead us to fight. I want her back, what we had was so good I don't want to give it up. Knowing she won't dare to contact me, when could I initiate contact? Of course I want to give her space to miss me and all, but I also want to act quickly. I realize what we had is gone, but I'm ready to start anew with her because having her in my life in any way is better than not having her at all. I also honestly think our problems are solvable. I want to find out if there is still a chance. And how would I go about it, in no way do I want to come across as needy/clingy/desperate. I know if I gave this some time I would get over him and be fine about it, I just don’t want to, because I feel its stupid to throw something this good away, just like that. Any advice is greatly appreciated.


Most Helpful Guy

  • ok look, my ex and I broke up almost 4 months ago and we talk daily now...i begged her back for a week or so after we broke up - bad idea...i STOPPED contact completely for a month in february...like complete, she texted me once or twice and I just didn't say ANYTHING...now, after a month or so I called her to meet up and "catch" up...it went amazingly well...she said how she missed me and realized she wants me in her life - now I didn't jump on this at all...we are still friends, best friends, she's kinda seeing this guy and I make it seem like ti doesn't phase me - of course it does, but I'm playin it coola nd showing her I will always support and be there for her...ok enough about me, I just wanted to share that I've been in ur situatuion recently and right now thigns are great with my ex and I know that eventually she WILL come back to me...im hoping, not planning, but I'm also living my own life meeting new people...

    now a week isn't that long, give it some time...you both have emotions floating in the air and you don't want to say the wrong thing and BOOM argue again...you've got to first, sit back - analyze the situation and WHY you broke up...how did it end up this way? was it something you did? something she did? really THINK about what happened and how everything played a roll into this break up...make yourself a better person, work on yourself, GO WORK OUT...making yourself more appealing will be beneficial to you if things don't work out and will have her want you even more...plus it'll relieve TONS of stress, its a great thing to start if you don't already...

    but ok so its been a week, id say wait it out a little more...at least 3 weeks id say total - so either 2 mroe weeks or 3...time where she can miss you and you guys can updated each other on your lives and what youve been up to...how school is, family, jobs?, etc

    most importantly don't jump into things and say I want you back I want a relationship...i mean you DO want that, but you don't want to seem desperate this is a fresh break up...now it takes EFFORT, but you don't want to rush is all I'm saying...remember it was the TURTLE who won the race NOT the RABBIT...feel me? slow and steady my friend, show her you care for her, consistantly but slowly...you guys are going to have a lot of tension probably built up and you don't want to get into an argument, you want to keep the conversation going, keep the "date" short...do like a coffee place where ur not being "waited" on...something where you can grab something quick and chat...now when you talk don't tell her EVERYTHING you've been doing, you want to keep this to 30-45 min because you want her to wonder what else you could be up to...you want to leave the first "date" to follow up with a second "date" so youve got to keep her mind racing and wondering...

    dont bring up your relationship, unless its like funny things you guys used to do...good memories, stay awy from anything that will bring up tension or bad memories...

    • Nerver say never...i got cut off but message me and maybe I can help you out further...its NEVER too late, remember if its meant to be it will be...im at work and I don't ahve time to re-read what I wrote so sorry if I went off on a rant, but I can def help you out if you need it...lemme know, GL!

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What Girls Said 1

  • When my ex broke up with me, he used to contact me every once in awhile. Just to say hi and talk about random things. Like shows we both watched. And comment on my Facebook statuses. You could start off with that. But don't go in and automatically start talking about getting back together. Whatever issues you had the last time around will still be there. You have to be realistic on how well you can fix it.


What Guys Said 2

  • There is hardly ever an option to "go back", whatever was there to cause the breakup in the first place will still be there, it will come up again.

    The best thing you can do it make things friendly again, but move on romantically.

  • You said her in the beginning but you referred to your ex as a him towards the end. What gender is your ex, because I think it would significantly impact how you should handle this.


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