He dumped me for his ex, leaves me hanging with no clue what happened, then starts talking to me again as "friends"?

and after I went out and done everything for him, to prove to him I loved him so much, he just wants to be "friends" then he would ignore me and I got sick of it and cussed him out yesterday.I basically told him that I was NOT going to be 2nd in his life and he wasn't going to use me for things his current girl want do for him ( not talking about sexual stuff either) Just in general nice things. so now he want talk to me at all. He never gave me closure and every time I bring up the break up he would cut me short,so I stopped talking about it. well now since yesterday he want answer my text or calls. what can I say to this guy to make him realize he hurt me and make him feel bad for what he did,and freaking pick up the phone like a man and talk.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The funniest part about this is, when a woman does this to a man then it's "she's just confused" or people say "she just needs time" or "you did something to make her feel different about you" Women always put men in the friend zone. Always making excuses and trying to make the man the bad guy and the woman the victim. As a woman you (and the women that has answered or will answer this) have probably done something like this before saying to men you are not attracted to "lets just be friends" knowing that he wants more and that he is or was a great guy. Now the shoe is on the other foot for a change... Now let me just say this, THAT'S GARBAGE THAT HE WANTS YOU TO BE FRIENDS WITH HIM. So here's the deal. If you were great to him and he did that to you then that means that he just didn't care. He used you as a rebound. You have to have more self respect and move on. Don't keep chasing him. Never talk to this guy again, no calls, texts, e-mails, no stalking, and don't hang at the same places anymore. Improve on yourself, new clothes, hobbies, friends, fun experiences, start dating again and so on. Some women would go through what you are going through and would start being convienced that all men are the same, but as a good woman you are BETTER than that so don't go that route. I understand that it's much easier said than done. Now I am not going to tell you crap like "there's someone out there for everyone" or the fish in the sea bull crap, but you being a woman you have the advantage of men going up to you. The meaning of life is to LIVE.

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What Guys Said 2

  • The guy is a coward, he won't call be cause he does not have the balls to do it and probably never will, forget about him and find another guy that treats you better, and showing him that he hurt you will only stroke his ego, feel sorry for the girl he is with and move on into better things

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  • it maght not be that he doesn't care fore you just cares for her mor might feel bad for hurting you might not and when a guy sez he wants to be just friends he's lying its either "I want both of you but know I won't get that" or "I love her more and don't want to mess it op so pease leave me alone"

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What Girls Said 6

  • I would just leave him alone. I'm sure he knows you are hurt and maybe isn't ready to talk to you because he is trying to avoid any emotional conversation. Me and my ex broke up six months ago and just started talking again now. I'm telling you it makes all the difference when you are past that emotional stage and can speak to each other without digging up old feelings. My advice to you is to go on like he doesn't matter to you (yes I know easier said than done). But my ex got wind that I was lookin good and lookin happy without him and I think that is one of the reasons why we are on those talking terms at this time.
    He said he thought I would be a mess, crying and begging for forgiveness if he was to contact me a couple months after the break up (and he was right, if we did speak that early after the break up I probably would have been that way). But now that I have looked past want I wanted from him (don't me wrong, on some levels I really do want him back. But the reality is, we won't last because we don't know how to change as individuals and need to do it on our own).
    I know he is still interested in what I am up to, like who I spend me time with and all. So I just leave it up to his imagination by saying I'm out with friends when he does call me.
    Be the person he was attracted to originally when you two first started dating and he will come around trust me.
    There is nothing sexier than a strong confident woman.Good luck to you.
    Clueless

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  • I'm sorry to say but with the way he acting he is not a man. I suggest you just leave him alone. The biggest motivator for a man to contact you is not know what you are doing. I know this from experience. I went through the same thing. You need to forget about him and work on yourself, do the nice things for YOU not him. It will make you feel better. And if he does contact you, you need to set boundries as "friends" so he doesn't take advantage of you. I know its hard not to have closure but sometimes its best that way.

    I wish you the best of luck!

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  • DONT CALL HIM. DONT TEXT HIM. DONT EMAIL HIM.

    YOU ARE BETTER THAN HIM. IF HE CALLS DO NOT ANSWER TILL THE OTHER DAY. YOU HAVE TO BE STRONG AND PRETEND You DONT CARE.

    YOU KNOW, DOING THE OPPOSITE THING WORKS; IF YOU WANT TELL HIM BY TEXT OR EMAIL. THAT YOU AGREE WITH THE BREAKUP, IT WAS THE BEST THING THAT COULD EVER HAPPEN TO YOU GUYS. TO MAKE HIM WONDER... WHY IS THIS GIRL BEING SO COOL ABOUT IT.

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  • Hey there. It seems to me that regardless of how long your relationship was, he was not over the relationship with his ex to begin with. It had nothing to do with you or how you treated him. Take care of your feelings by connecting with your friends and loved ones. When you get to the point where you don't care what he does with his ex, you will be able to accept the fact that he cannot give you closure. The bottom line here is that he does not want to be with you, and you deserve someone who does. You are not the problem. You did not do anything wrong. When a guy goes to his ex and says he wants to be friends, you are definitely on the back burner. And you deserve better. Cut contact with him and you will be able to see things clearly soon enough.

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  • Not sure why you would want to give him the time of day. Let it go and move on. Sometimes we have to create our own closure. All this time and energy that you are using on him just might keep you from meeting someone else that will treat you right. Trying to make him feel bad just will show him how low you will go. The next time he calls don't bring up the break up. Let him know how happy you are. Talk about all the fun things you have been doing without him. All the good things happening in your life. All of that will make him think twice and reflect on what he did and how he did it.

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  • hes not going to so just leave it alone take it as lessoned learned and move on. how is this guy? because he dsnt sound like a man he sounds like a boy..

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