My ex said he hates me, but he always asks about me... what does this mean?

So, my ex and I broke up like 3 weeks ago and then he immediately got into a new relationship 5 days later with his ex. It sounds really bad, but I mean I'm over it, it's whatever. Anyways, his guy best friend is also my best friend, and so our friend told me that my ex said that he f***ing hates me, he loves his new girlfriend and doesn't plan on leaving her anytime soon. I don't understand this though since I never hurt him at all... he's the one who left me! And like my friend says that every day he asks if I'm talking bad about him... like why does he still care about what I'm saying? Obviously I'm still hurt so that justifies me talking and asking about him, but the fact that he says he hates me, has a girlfriend (who I know is just a rebound) like why does he want to know what I'm saying or doing?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • He is bad-mouthing you and saying he hates you to justify why he broke up with you. People who end the relationship always tend to do this, guys especially and because you say you didn't do anything that would make him feel resentment towards you... by saying that he hates you this prevents him from feeling shitty or regretting breaking up with you in the first place.

    He also wants to know if you are talking badly about him because this is a sign of being hurt by what happened and I guess he wants to know if you are. People don't like it when there ex whom they broke up with doesn't seem upset about what happened as this kind of makes them think 'maybe they never loved me in the first place' I guess he is just checking up on this.

    He could also be checking because he doesn't want you be upset about the break-up or could possibly be checking to see if you are talking badly about him as he wants to protect his ego but it all comes down to how smoothly or badly your break-up went to determined which one.

    To be honest its only been 3 weeks like you said this is kind of expected you should be concerned if it was months or years down the track but its only been a matter of weeks.

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    • Him and his ex will not last and they will eventually realise why they broke up in the first place and this will cause them to break-up again. Also because its so soon after she most definitely is a rebound. Did he say he was ending it because there was someone else? because if this is what happened and he broke up with you with the intention to get back with his ex then this changes things.

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    • We dated for about a month, so I know it probably doesn't sound serious, but like I was hoping we would be together for a while bc we both really liked each other. His "ex" and him technically weren't even dating they talked for like a month 5 months before and she friendzoned him, around that same time my boyfriend and I of 2 years broke up. So by the time my new boyfriend and I were becoming friends we were trying to get over our ex's and then eventually developed feelings for each other. So whenever we started dating, his ex came in the picture and we got in a fight over that bc I knew that she was trying to get him back and he didn't think she was. (That was the fight that he eventually broke up with me for) so it was all a new relationship in the making, but the fact that he can leave me and then get back with his "ex" 5 days later and yet be the one saying that he hates me and he'll ask our best friend "what has that bitch said about me today" and stuff like that

    • It's so ironic though how he ended up with the person he told you not to worry about. I swear it always happens like that, the cheek he had to pick a fight over it though rarther then just agree with you and give her the flick I mean considering they never even dated it shouldn't have been hard. Clearly there was unresolved feelings there for her still otherwise he wouldn't have fought you on it- this I know for 100 percent certainty as I went through the exact same bullshit with my ex. He's just being immature and honestly don't worry about it it's expected after a break-up both parties do it it's inevitable. Just be glad you got out of the relationship before it got to serious, it would have hurt a lot more to find out there were unresolved feelings for someone else months or years into the relationship.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Honestly, just let it go. Who cares what he's doing, he's trash talking you like a dick. Do yourself a favour and focus on how good it is that the arsehole is not your problem anymore.

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  • Who cares what he says/thinks. It's obvious he's not over you and it's kinda pathetic tbh...

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    • It's just weird bc he was the one who broke up with me, and he told my best friend that I need to move on cause he's happy and loves his new girlfriend. And I was like uh... its been 3 weeks.

  • Really? He hates you? Wow. Just wow! I hope him and his ex are happy.

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