Am I overreacting?

Last March I broke up with a guy, let's call him loser, which I had been seeing for four months who was borderline emotionally abusive towards me. He would put me down, asking where I was and with who I was with, if I didn’t reply to him right away he would send me at least five messages and everything had to be on his terms and if he did something wrong he blamed it on me. He is vegan, so whenever I ate meat, he would say how a good person like me can eat meat. One time he tried to get in my pants and I said no I don't want to because I'm tired, then he went on top of me and said I have no say in this. I was shocked and pushed him off me. He told me that he was just kidding but from there it just went downhill.

So before everything went downhill, Loser met some of my friends and he added them on Facebook.

When it was over and my friend found out how he had been to me, they deleted him from Facebook and kept ignoring him when they saw him on campus. However, there is one friend, let's call him H, who didn't delete him and still talked to Loser. One time when I was drunk I told H what Loser had been towards me. I asked him if he could delete Loser, which he did and he promised me that he won't add him back or talk to Loser. However, yesterday found out on my own that H had readded loser on Facebook. I just saw red and felt so betrayed, so I decided that I don’t want anything to do with this so called “friend”. Am I overreacting?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Overreacting? No, I don't think so. Like others have said though, you can't control other people. Feel betrayed? Yup! I would too, and things like this have happened to me on the past also. I've never spoken to those people again and have no desire to do so. So I do my best to avoid them as much as possible. You have every right to be mad (I would too!). You do not have a right to tell H or others how to deal with your problem with Loser.

    The best thing to do here is try to move on and let Loser and H do their own thing. At some point, other girls will see them as untrustworthy also, and react to them in their own way.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Not at all. I mean, if one of my friends went through something like that, I'd never want to speak to the guy again. I'd be horrified and hurt on my friend's behalf. And I would expect my friends to also stop talking to him if I ever went through something like that with a guy.
    Your "friend" is being a two-faces little bitch. I would drop him if I were you, clearly he doesn't care about you and thinks that what this guy did is ok.


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Look, what I'm most surprised about is that you dated a guy named Loser, you should have known it wasn't going to end well.

    I do think you are over-reacting. You don't, and probably should t have any communication with loser, but you don't really have the right to say who and who not your friends can be FB friends with. As long as H isn't bringing loser around you, I see no problem.

    • Are you serious? Loser is not his real name... -_- wow... I presume that you didn't read what I wrote. The reason I'm angry is because he said that he promise won't talk to him or hang out with him but then I find out that he went behind my back.

    • It was a joke. I read what you wrote, but that's just my 2 cents without knowing anything else about your life. Usually advice from strangers on the internet isn't the best, so I'd do whatever you feel is best.

  • Well... you can't really control other people. I find it unreasonable that you feel you have the right to tell other people whi they can and can't speak too. He certainly should not have said he would delete him and then re add him, but he likely was trying to avoid a fight with you while keeping control of his friends list.

    • But the thing is that he could have said that he won't do that and I would had been fine with it but basically he lied to me. That's why I'm fuming, and it's strange that my other friends stopped talking to him on their free will. H and "loser" weren't that close either.

    • So I guess that he thinks what he did to me is okay..

    • Your kinda making a common female mistake... your assuming its all about you. Who knows, maybe they play the same video game or like the same band. I think your taking something really personal that ought not be taken that way.

What Girls Said 1

  • If it was a girl friend then I would be pissed... but its a guy friend so why care. Unless this is your best mate that you have known since you were a child... chances are he feels he has more in common/more brotherly loyalty towards a guy than you. Don't take it personal. Just don't trust him as far as you can throw him.


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