At his last gig mine and his status was raised to me off his friends i didn't know what to say.
he became silent after this then 2 weeks later saying we had to talk (uh oh)
i would only talk face to face he began to push text. i was so angry. he had pulled me back in to do this to me again. he decided he was coming over after work to "cuddle and talk things out"
he came over he just swooped me up kissing my head saying sorry. he felt like he was holding back my life and didn't have time to dedicate to a relationship. he knows he hurts me. he's known all the time i want a relationship. swhy drag it out for 4 months more, i knew why i done it was because i loved him. he then told me he loved me to.
he wants us to still be close. told me how his pals thought the world of me, wants me to still come hang. i said it would only work the day i stop loving him, i have to force to stop. i needed to block him from my life to heal.
he said i didn't need to force myself to stop, he be so hurt if i blocked him, asked me not to said how he get if i need space or even decide i can't do it but not to block him.
before he left he said "i love you (full name) i really honestly do" it broke my heart, i understand why its over and to continue us seeing each other with no promise of a relationship is leading me on.
we spoke briefly by text. he said things like he hope i understood, wasn't the end of us being friends, he will be okay once i'm his friend. i said i couldnt speak to him for the time being i was to angry, i needed us not to speak. its been 3 weeks since we spoke.. longest weve not spoke.
i miss him very much, it doesn't feel like it getting easier.
i'm sad he hasn't spoke to me but then again i basically told him not to?
do i try to heal and be his friend in time?
or let him go completely?