He was not drunk when he told me this. Why did my ex. tell me this? please help?

I was on the phone with my ex. for about 30 m. talking about this and that.
One thing he shared was him running into his ex. saying she wants to get back with him. But he doesn't want to get back with her. Yet she was on her way to a date.

So i asked him if he thinks I am dating. He said yes, because he knows me.

He broke up with me 2 months ago.
He is dating someone else

Now he stays in contact with me. when he was with me, he said he didn't stay in contact with that ex.

Now he is with someone else, he is staying in contact with me and now staying in contact with the other ex?
Makes no sense to me.

Why did he have the need to tell me he ran into her.
(I made it very clear to him that i am not getting back with him)

Thank you


Most Helpful Guy

  • Why do you think he wants to get back with you? Just because he's staying in touch with you (or his ex) doesn't mean he wants to get back with either of you.

    Not everyone completely disappears when they break up with someone. They can stay in touch and remain on friendly terms for years.

    • Because 3 weeks ago, he kept calling me 10 times in 15 minutes. I finally got back to him. He told me he is lonely and misses me.
      So I had to make it clear to him that i am not going to be his back burner.
      when he was with me he said he never had any contact with that ex. and can't be her friend due to certain reasons.
      now he is telling me he ran into her and will stay in contact with her.
      Why does he have a need to tell me he ran into his ex. and told me she wants him back? to make me jealous?
      (i am easy going and have no problem staying in contact with exs.)

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    • On the other hand, maybe it's about friends. He unloads his life on you because you listen. He's alone and you are someone to talk to.

      I don't know. It's all weird. My best guess is that he's desperate, and wants someone, anyone. Whatever it is, he needs to calm down and decide what the heck we wants with his life.

    • Good morning,
      thank you for taking the time to reread. you are correct that he doesn't know what he wants. he hasn't been single since he met his ex. wife in his 20s.
      he hasn't had alone time to himself for 20 years now, no gap between 4 women!!! lol
      ex. wife 9 years. - cheated on ex. wife to be with ex. girlfriend (5 years.) three months later met me ( 1 1/2) straight to the new girlfriend (now three months.)
      now this current girlfriend. is his crush knew for over 15 years. he always wanted to be with her even when he was with ex. wife, always kept in touch now and then, but they were always with a partner, so a few fights with me, off he went to be with her and told her his feelings...
      no gap and went straight to her 3 months now... these three months he still contacts me.

      my questions - 1. why does he still want to know detials of my life? (after a few drinks happy to chat..)
      2. then called and asked about my sister (not drunk, was still at work).. sounds like excuses to call me.

      why use excuses to call?

Most Helpful Girl

  • If you made it clear he'd stop contacting you. Guys like to keep all there options open. It also enhances his confidence to know he can date one girl and still be desired by others. and ex's are the path of least resistance generally.

    • i dont desire him. i ignored him most of the times and i told him i am not getting back with him.

      i just don't understand why he has a need to tell me he ran into that ex... to make me jealous?

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    • in that case, the new woman is helping him by keeping him at an arms length.
      hopefully his other ex. whom he said she wants him back is not evil like she was when she broke up his marriage in the first place.
      ... long story...
      i made it a clean break between him and i, so it is not messy where he thinks he can just come back to me when the other relationship doesn't work out (now 2 months they should be very in love if its mutual)
      this man needs help.

    • Yeah and it goes back to the very first thing I mentioned. He's keeping his options open.

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What Guys Said 2

  • he's just want you to feel jealous... so he can have you later and taking advantage. he's good about creating a stores to stay in contact with you... which mean... I'll call you later.
    he's acting as professional player, but he's not.

    Don't worry about what happening... cuz that his plan (make you disturbed to get what he want).

  • If you dated him and don't know, wtf are we supposed to know?


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