Was I with a narcissist?

I shared a lot with this guy. We were arranging to move in together, he kept saying how much he loved me and I really love him. But then one day he just stopped all contact, wouldn't answer my calls, emails texts I can't get to see him in person, he lives in another town, just nothing.
My friend contacted him through email and he was very cheerful towards her, like he used to be with me, what's going on? I feel drained by this guy. I remember boosting his self confidence but he seemed to just dump me out of the blue. The minute I said I was feeling bad , I'd had a real crappy day at work, he just doesn't come near me and next thing i know I'm just ignored while he gets on with life smiling all the time. Was I dating a narcissist or someone slightly narcy? I feel both angry and so broken, I don't know what to do.


Most Helpful Guy

  • You will have to answer that yourself, but to sum up a few key elements of Narcissts:

    1. Hypocrites and a lack of a grasp of reality
    2. Manipulative
    3. Using grouppressure
    4. Are always the victims
    5. Need to find someone to make them feel bad in order to feel less bad themselves
    6. Narcissm always stems out of feeling inferior and therefor is displayed as an superiority complex
    7. Needs to make other peoples lifes as miserable as theirs and worse.
    8. Is in a constant state of panic and angst
    9. Often ends up doing the things to you to make you feel miserable which they are most afraid of
    10. Is nice to you at first just to screw you over greatly later on just to make it look like an accident.
    11. Needs to be in control.
    12. Their craziness is their cover. Outsiders simply would rather believe it being an accident than thinking this person really is this crazy.
    13. Lack of empathy
    14. Overbearing sense of self-importance
    15. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
    16. Requires excessive admiration
    17. Has a very strong sense of entitlement
    18. Is exploitive of others
    19. Is often envious of others
    20. Regularly shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
    21. They demonstrate grandiosity in their beliefs and behavior
    22. Expects constant attention
    23. Is arrogant in attitudes and behavior
    24. Has expectations of special treatment that are unrealistic
    25. Takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
    26. Has trouble keeping healthy relationships with others
    27. Are often dramatic
    28. Cannot handle criticism
    29. Often tries to compensate for this inner fragility by belittling or disparaging others

    Potential causes for narcissm:

    - Excessive admiration that is never balanced with realistic feedback.
    - Excessive praise for good behaviors or excessive criticism for bad behaviors in childhood.
    - Overindulgence and overvaluation by parents, other family members, or peers.
    - Being praised for perceived exceptional looks or abilities by adults.
    - Severe emotional abuse in childhood.
    - Unpredictable or unreliable caregiving from parents.
    - Learning manipulative behaviors from parents or peers.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't really see the connection between ghosting on you and being a narcissist. He might be a sociopath in the sense that he has completely disregarded your feelings and existence. Or he's just a grade-a douchebag who felt like ghosting on you would be easier than being upfront about his lack of interest.


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • I don't really see him being a narcissist. Just sounds like he ghosted you and moved on. I just wouldn't get too hung up on him.


What Girls Said 1

  • I have no idea if he was a true narcissist, but at the very least he is a HUGE ass. I'm sorry you were treated like this. You deserve more


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