My ex and I agreed to stay friends, but he's behaving in an odd way. He ignores me and then puts the blame on me. Why does he do that?

It was a mutual breakup. Something just wasn't there and it was hard to admit it. We took our distances so we could get over each other. The thing is we work at the same place: we both are dance instructors for our school's Friday nights dance, so we see each other often. Before, we always danced together for at least 2 songs, but now he doesn't even look at me. Last week, he was being terribly indecisive: I was with our group of friends and he asked every single one of them to dance but me. I waved at him, just to say hi because we are "friends". He plainly ignored me. Later, I was dancing with someone else when he came back to where our friends were. My friend witnessed what happened and told me about it later: he was looking for someone (me) and, when a random girl came up to him and asked him to dance, he refused (while he never ever does). She asked him if he was looking for someone and he said "yes". My friend saw that, when he saw I was dancing with another guy, he looked disappointed. She asked him if he was looking for me, he said "yes" and she replied "you can ask her when she's done". He didn't reply and he asked her to dance. So they went dancing. When the song was over, she told him to come ask me to dance, but he refused again saying "oh no, she's busy talking to someone". Later in the evening, he sent me a text, saying "the guys would not leave you alone tonight; I couldn't even get to you (LIES!)". I told a friend about it and the only thing she said was that "you guys keep saying you don't want to be together, but what you say behind each other's back tells the opposite".
In my case, I don't want to get back with him but I want him to stop those stupid games.
What is he doing? Why does he behave in such a weird way?


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What Guys Said 2

  • "Let's be friends" is always a lie and is never possible. For the life of me I don't understand why you women especially think it's possible and why you ask the question or why you believe your ex when he says it. It's over so move on

    • He was the one saying that. I simply accepted cause I did like him as a friend before we started dating.
      I am moving on, I am simply questioning his behavior. Why did he initiate the breakup conversation if he still thinks about me? That is what I don't understand.

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    • I don't understand your point. Can you explain?

    • He's decided you're not for him. He's cold/hot and those never work

  • let's be friends is something a lot of people say they want to do but the reality is it is far more difficult to be friends with an ex.

    it's hard not to see them as the romantic partner you had. it's often hard to be purely platonic friends without pangs of jealousy, rejection, desire, etc.


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