Do I have reason to be mad right now?

So, here's the deal... My mom and her boyfriend have been having issues lately and they're acting immature and childish and my mom's been depressed and been telling me everything about how she feels. She also broke up with him last night and then he called saying he still wants to see her, and even though she's been nothing but sad ever since she got with him, she said yes, and now things are bad with them again. So, that already got me in a pretty bad mood as is. Now, my boyfriend and I had made plans for this weekend to go set my friend and his best friend up together, and we were supposed to go bowling. He came up with this idea, and we talked about this last weekend too. We're supposed to be going today. I told my friend and started making plans with her, and my boyfriend is aware of that, but I haven't heard a word from him all today or yesterday. I tried to reach him, but so far, nothing. So I'm pretty angry right now... Do I have reason to be, or should I just try to calm down and let this go?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Miss Desirae, you're overanalyzing the situation because you are protective about your mom.

    You and your mom are really close, for christ sakes.. I remember you telling me about her fbook account and how you and her chat through it.. She's a big part of your life from what I can see, and your getting upset that your boyfriend hasn't contacted you in regards to the plans you've lined up... Let's find out if you have the right to be mad...

    Is this something common? Most of the time, men are not the best with "dates" because we are often busy with other obligations. Granted, if you were trying to call him and line stuff up, I could see where you are coming from... But here's a shocking realisation, maybe it's your anniversary today and you forgot, where your boyfriend is planning a suprise party... Yeah, it's completely unlikely, but what I'm saying is to just give it patience. If you have been blown off by him all day, maybe he was busy with his family due to a medical emergency- you will NEVER know if you overreact. Just give him the benefit of the doubt.

    It's not like bowling and lining up another "double-dating-scenario" can't come another day.

    - For now, just work with your mom on having a good day until you get in touch with your boyfriend and friends. She will appreciate it and truly enjoy that her daughter can spend some time with her ;)

    Later miss desirae,

    ArtistBBoy

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    • Thanks, you're right. He just IMed me, but I think I can be really mad at him now. Apparently, he changed plans last minute to go on a snowboarding trip with his friend, and he didn't tell me. So I'm kind of making him suffer right now without being obvious about it.

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    • Thank you desirae, I hope everything worked out :)

    • It did. :) We're all good now. ^_^

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • This is just my opinion and I feel you will have much more penetrative answers than this but as I see it you are risking being the fall guy in the middle here.

    You seem to be more mature than everyone around you and this is a frustrating situation to be in.

    Firstly however much of a friend your mother may have made you with her, you are also her daughter and as such you have a right to stay right out of the murky bed your mother is making herself to lie in, This may mean encouraging her to get assertiveness training or self esteem counselling and letting her get on with it.

    You do not need to be so full of rancour about your Mother's relationship that it interferes with your life.

    You have the right to be 'mad', but use use the energy of that to provoke positive rather than negative. Depending on your circumstances it might be the time to leave home and set up your own place and have your Mother's contumely in a separate zone for a while ... while she has your shoulder to lean so heavily on she will not see her situation as clearly as she needs to.

    Whatever you do, stay safe .. for me to talk about leaving home is one thing [I did] but I am a male and for where you live it may not be appropriate advice, but your mother needs to get her head out of the sand ... and her heart away from someone who cares nothing for it.

    As I said at the top of this - all I have said is just my opinion - but I have seen so many lives ruined by "taking back" through low self esteem and so often it is those closest to those with low self esteem that get hurt the most. All the best that can possibly be to you.

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    • Panopticus again; I have been thinking since I answered and I cannot edit what I wrote, I feel I may have over reacted to your Mother's situation, I still think she needs to respect your needs and hers by not accepting the impact this man makes on her but I am not sure about the level of lack of esteem, difficult to say without knowing more about her. I am sorry that I cannot amend my original answer and hope I have not offended you. I wrote from the heart rather than from the head.

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    • It's alright, I wasn't offended at all. ^_^ You are right in many ways, and I appreciate the honesty, really. :)

    • Panopticus here;-I am so glad all is ok, I was really concerned, you had a much more cogent answer from ArtistBboy, and I think between the answers so far quite a few bases are covered. I agree, your boyfriend needs to think about priorities and a little time to reflect won't hurt at all! :o)

What Girls Said 2

  • You have reason to be but I don't think you should lose control since your mom won't be able to be reasonable, and will just lose control right back!

    Try to be calm until she gets over this guy or at least calms down!

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  • You need to take a break and take some time for yourself. What your mom is doing is setting a horrible example for you and sharing her adult problems with you, which is wrong. As for your boyfriend, he might have a good excuse so don't get upset yet. Just relax, do small things that make you happy, take a bubble bath, eat ice cream, dance to your favorite song

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    • You're right. Taking a break and some time for myself sounds like an excellent plan to me. :) Thank you.

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