Why is my ex boyfriend acting so stupid?

even though me and my ex are not together anymore, I still watch over him because I am very protective of him, and obviously I still care. we're still friends, but I still have a lot of feelings for him even though we've been broken up for 3 months now. we were together for 8. he even got a girlfriend after a week of us being broken up. my ex tends to get screwed over, and I'm not exactly sure why. I'm the only girlfriend he's ever had that hasn't cheated/given up/ or broke up with him. but anyway, his girlfriend broke up with him on friday and in school he was crying to me about it. and I don't get why I'm not good enough for him? I would never hurt him like that. I would never give up on him. I've put so much effort into our relationship its crazy but yet he still doesn't see that how good together we could be.. how do I make him realize that without coming out and saying it?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Question: ".. how do I make him realize that without coming out and saying it?"

    Answer: Show him.

    Now that he isn't dating someone, ask him to hang out. Then be an outgoing dork that makes him laugh and really have fun. You don't have to be juvenile and wear a parking cone over your head, but have fun with the situation... Here's an example that would make me melt:

    Example: (At the duck pond walking around, I really don't wanna be there)

    I'm already annoyed cause I'd rather be doing something else than walking in the duck pond, but I realise that I have the opportunity to have fun with her here, so I stick around. I'm walking along and think that she doesn't want to fight for a relationship, when all of a sudden she throws her arm through mine, allowing me to court her... She is skipping beside me and smiling with that look of love in her eye.. She then looks at the birds and smirks, letting go of my arm and rushing towards them, she scares away the birds.. Etc

    See what I mean? JUST HAVE FUN.. If you have fun like that, it's his loss.. He wants to be miserable and cry.. But if you kick back and make him happy by being yourself, and not an emotionally-lovey-dovey-little-girl (no offence, I'm just annoyed with it)... Then you guys are having fun...

    What not to do:

    1) Don't express your undieing love for that person through words

    - Do it through actions. If you love him, you'll want to be close to him.. You'll want to talk with him.. etc.

    2) Don't kiss his ass and clean his house (Granted he is 18 years old or younger)

    - Instead, live your life and have your own priorities..

    3) Don't try to be with him if he wants to be with everyone else.

    - Move on. If he can't see that you love him, he doesn't deserve the attention and affection. It's nice and we love it, but he doesn't deserve it.. I'm guilty of that one.


    ~ ArtistBBoy


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What Guys Said 6

  • A big mistake people make in relationships of all kinds is that they always think that they will be able to change someone. If you were together for 8 months and then broke up, I'm assuming there was a good reason on one side or the other for the break-up. Regardless if you don't agree with the reason, it's a reason regardless. That choice to end the relationship was made and it was enough to make one party or the other act on it. Nothing can change the feel that prompted that action.

    Now, I'll tell you from experience, if this guy broke up with you, then chances are he doesn't believe that he needs you to watch over him and protect him. It may seem like a nice thing to do, but it will not help your chances of a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship ever again. Do you realize that by letting him cry on your shoulder about another girl breaking up with him puts you into a "mother" role in his life? You don't have to reply, but ask yourself what his relationship with his mother is like, if you have knowledge of it. I'm willing to bet it's not a great relationship.

    • He broke up with me for no reason what so ever. he just said that he doesn't want a realationship and then a week later they started dating and from what I know of, his mom and him get along real good. she's like my second mom.

  • Wait... what?

    Is your question really: "how can I make him realize that without coming out and saying it?"

    ...Are you kidding me?

    Just come out and say it! Guys are direct creatures, it is ok to just come out and say things to us. We prefer it that way. We much prefer it when people just come out and say what they think.

    Just say it!

    Say it!

    Say it!

    Say it!

    Why on earth don't you want to just say it?

  • There is nothing wrong with just saying it, but understand he will not realize how much you mean to him, because you basically are doing everything. He is crying to you about his problems, you look out for him and you care about him.

    He has you doing some of the main things a girlfriend should do. He is dating other girls and you are providing all of the emotional support, which is the most important part.

    Go on a few dates try to find someone new, don't be so readily available to his needs.

    You may find a guy that really appreciates you and your ex will realize he lost you or he will see how much he misses not having you around so much and come around.

    If you want someone to realize how much you cared for them or how much they do care about you don't keep being there and letting yourself be taken for granted.

    He might be the reason he keeps getting screwed over because he has horrible decisions making skills and bad tastes.

  • The girls he's with, generally take advantage of him, so he's looking for someone to take control, he's looking to be submissive, so you need to control him, you need to be the dominate one.

  • To be honest there isnt.

    tell him that you still have feelings for him. then leave it for a few days.

    When a girl says they like me I tend to then look at them in a different light and it will play on my mind. half the time it ends out in me liking them back and since you two have history he may like you back. maybe he thinks that he has had his chance with you and he's not gunna get another.

    Or you could make him jealous.

    Or you could make him like you again by flirting, not just being his friend.

  • it's so scary I'm in your EXACT position haha. right down to the details. but I saw it kinda like this... if we broke up... it was probably for a good reason. even if we couldn't put a finger on it. if either of us felt some need to end it.. there was probably some kind of deeper reason.


What Girls Said 3

  • If your a good girlfriend for him, he should be able to realize that, and you can show him through being a good friend to him. I don't understand why the two of you would have broken up, but you can work through your problems, and give each other pure honest communication. That's the key. Try to understand his feelings.

  • im sorry to be pessimistic, but the truth is, you can't make him realize that...he has to do it on his own. you can't change anyone, no matter how hard you try. I've had experience with the same type of situation you are talking about.

  • Leave him alone. He needs to realize it for himself. You go find a guy who appreciates you and just be a friend to your ex. He will drain all your energy.


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