Just found out the girl I like isn't ready for a relationship and now she's not really talking to me?

So I found out through a mutual friend that the girl I like and I have that she's not ready for a relationship. I guess she tends to get guys to like her and then backs off because she gets scared.. I really like this girl a lot. I know everyone is going to tell me to move on. But I don't really know what to do right now. I want to have a chance with this girl when she's ready. So I don't know where to take this whole situation.. I can't just not talk to this girl. But I don't want to be the first to say anything.. My buddy and his girl friend tell me not to worry about it for a while. I'm supposed to see her tonight at the bar..

The four of us ( my buddy and his girlfriend. the girl I like and I) are supposed to house sit 2 weekends in April so we'll have some alone time. But in May her best friend is moving to Hawaii.. I really hope things turn around by then..

Sorry if this is confusing.. I'm just scatter brained right now..


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Question:

    - I guess she tends to get guys to like her and then backs off because she gets scared.. I really like this girl a lot. I know everyone is going to tell me to move on. But I don't really know what to do right now.

    Answer:

    - Be the leader and fight for her. Show her that you are patient and can wait for a relationship, but that you would like to be around her for when she is ready. This means that INSTEAD OF: saying "I love you and want to be with you" ;; you're speaking through your actions to her. That you will be around and patient with her. That you can support her and care for her. That you can respect who she is and where she comes from.

    ~ ArtistBBoy

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    • Dont really know how or where to start.. If she's not talking to me right now you know? And I don't want to come across nagging or clingy and text her first... I figure I'll see her tonight and maybe tomorrow night.. won't text her. then maybe come tuesday or something I'll say something to her. Just to giver some space maybe?

    • Don't be clingy and say: "I know your scared but I really won't hurt you.." blah blah blah.. Instead, just offer to hang out with her: "Hey jessica, can I talk with you?" and if she gives you the cold shoulder, step back and be respectful. Try again another day.

      Once you have her talking, just have fun and be yourself. Don't try to compensate for any harm you have done, just show her that you aren't about drama and that you like being around her.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Persistence is the word... you should keep on hinting that you like her and that you want something else for her...the more you work for her the more secure and more ready she will feel like to move on to a relationship with you. Hope it helps a little

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What Guys Said 1

  • Your best bet is to show her you really care for her, and want to be with her. But the feeling has to be mutual. If she doesn't want a relationship, it's best to call it quits. To put your feelings aside so that you can move on. Never chase something if you know it leads to a dead end.

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    • Thats the thing.. When she told me that she just wants to be friends she said for right now cause she doesn't know what the future holds. So I don't know if it's dead end. my friend told me not to worry about it right now. and like I said above, we'll have some time to really spend together in April. And her best friend is moving to Hawaii in April.. I guess as much as it sucks but time will only tell.

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