Scared we made a mistake breaking up? Was there something wrong with me?

My boyfriend and I have dated over a year and the majority has been very happy. He is good for me, there for me, my best friend. One problem that came up for me time and time again was our inability to connect deeply, so we felt like more a surface-level relationship or friends, than deeply in love. He has PTSD and other pain that blocks him somewhat - he says he hates being vulnerable to anyone.. even girlfriends. This brought a huge lack of passion and he is very passive about love, fights, concerns, even down to sex, when I wanted him to just be a little more expressive... It caused a huge lack of communication and eventually exploded at once. I constantly found myself wanting more or wanting to feel that spark again, which was never strongly there to begin with.

I was in an emotionally abusive relationship before him, but was very passionate, so I'm scared that my perception of love/passion is completely skewed. Most of the time in our relationship I felt very empty and not deeply loved or special, because how passive he is and how much he avoids vulnerability.

We broke up last night and he told me he will probably never open up more or be more willing to feel. He says who he is deep down, is unemotional and tough, which I think isn't true. He's my best friend so it doesn't feel right. Was this even a big enough problem to break up? Could it have ever been fixed?


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  • He needs to work on himself before he can be with anyone.

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  • His drug is his passion n love not u or anyone else.

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