Will I ever be able to move on from my ex?

Long story short, I met a girl, she became my first girlfriend, I fell madly in love with her, and 10 months into the relationship, she cheated on me and then jumped into a new relationship overnight. For the first week or two, I was plagued by devastating heartbreak and separation anxiety. It was the worst emotional pain I'd ever felt in my life. It's now been 10 months since we broke up, and while I'm definitely not the complete mess I was when it first happened, I'm still not over it. I still think about her every day. My mind flashes back to our relationship non-stop. I'm bitter and jaded towards women and relationships in general. I've went out on a few dates and slept with some girls that I'm not even proud of having slept with, but I've failed to make a real connection. My confidence and self-esteem have been completely destroyed, I look for character flaws in every girl I meet, and can't see myself trusting or opening up to a girl again. I'm very depressed, lonely, and miserable. I try to avoid mentioning this to anyone, people just get annoyed and think it's ridiculous that it's been almost a year and I'm still not over it. I really don't know what to do anymore.


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What Girls Said 3

  • Yes you will move on, unless you don't want to. I broke it off w/the first guy that I really loved because we weren't compatible and I knew that he would never be a committed husband (though he talked about how he wanted to be w/me forever). I was heartbroken, I cried a lot. During this 6 months post break up, major things have changed. I am not out desperately looking for another, I am working on myself. I found a much better job and I am doing what I want. I started dating a couple months after and I met someone recently. I never believed that I could feel good about someone else, but I am starting to feel that. Do not make finding another girl the focus of your life.

  • One chick turned out to be a bitch, but the fact is, we aren't all like that. Assuming all women are like that or holding a grudge is just going to show your negative attitude towards women, which will reciprocate negative experiences. Also, you're giving your ex way too much power, be angry or sad and then let it go. At a certain point you are wanting to hold onto the pain and it's probably because that's all you have left of the relationship. If you actually get over it, then you have no reason to be bitter and make excuses about not pursuing a new relationship, which would make you feel vulnerable, so it's easier just to stay mad about the whole thing.

  • You're going to be ok. I know it hurts and it seems like ta never going to end but give it some time. You'll be ok.


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