Somebody help me with a breakup i'm depressed and crying?

Hey guys. So i'm trying to get over a breakup but i just can't. I feel so sad and depressed it's not even funny. I'm 17, and it just feels like I'll never find a guy like him that i connect with like that again. I've tried talking to other guys but it's not the same. I've only dated one other guy, and he broke up with me and i got extremely sad but never like this. The pain is always bugging me and never goes away and i don't know why. I've tried everything to get over him. And just thinking about him with someone else makes me cry. I've been feeling like this for a long time somebody help. I hate that I feel like this but i can't get that horrible feeling out of my stomach especially thinking of him with someone else and he's even said he could get a 10 but since he liked me he was with me? I hate this so much, i've lost my appetite, i can't sleep, i'm never happy.. i went from being a straight A student to getting C's. I feel like i'll never feel better. please help me


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sometimes it is hard to move on, but it is something that we all have to do from time to time. I have had one particular break up at your age that affected me pretty severely. Recently there has also been a girl who I have been attracted to for a long time who is now engaged to a good friend of mine. It's not a break up but the pain is still the same for me. Sometimes the pain seems unbearable, but in the end it will eventually subside and you will find someone who cares and truly appreciates what he finds in you. As for the "get a 10" comment, saying something like that just seems cruel and immature. You could be a "10" in someone else's eyes. What one person perceives as attractive may be completely different for someone else. Things will look up! I hope you feel better.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Not to be rude or anything but you've got to stop pitying yourself. Saying stuff like "I'll never find someone like him again", "I just can't get over it", "thinking about him with someone else makes me cry", "I'm never happy", "I'll never feel better" etc. is extremely hurtful and only keeps you in this downward spiral of sadness.

    1. You're 17. You have your entire life ahead of you. Trust me, this is not the last time you'll find a boy you like and connect with. It might seem that way now, but that's so far from the truth. You will find someone else, someone who's even better than him.

    2. Pitying yourself and saying stuff like you'll never get over it, you'll never find someone else, blah blah, is just prohibiting you even more from moving on. With a defeatist attitude like this, no wonder you're not getting anywhere. Don't brainwash yourself into thinking you'll never get over this. Because you will. Start thinking a bit more positively and try harder to change your mindset. This toxic thinking will not get you anywhere. You will find someone else. You will get over this.

    3. Have patience. You don't get over someone within a day and that's fine. Take your time to mourn but also pick yourself up and shrug it off. You can't mourn forever. Life goes on. Eventually you'll feel less hurt, until you've completely moved on.

    4. Surround yourself with friends and family, people who actually like you and want to hang out with you. Doing fun stuff with them will take things off your mind. Don't miss out on any opportunities to hang out with them because you feel sad. Staying in bed all day feeling sorry for yourself certainly won't make you feel better. Being with your friends will definitely make you happier. You can maybe also talk things out with them. But don't make everything about your ex, your friends are there to listen to you and help you, sure, but they're not your emotional tampons that you can talk about your ex with 24/7.

    5. Force yourself to eat and study. Eventually it'll become easier and doing normal things again will actually help you take your mind off of him.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 8

  • Once a couple of years ago I too dated a girl that enticed me and when the break up came I just couldn't get over her no matter what, but after a few months it started to get better and I started to get my life back on track. So I'm so sorry to see someone going through what I had gone through, I know you will feel better eventually as time goes by just try to focus on your life is the only advice I can really offer.

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  • look at the bright side your a girl you can have just about anyone you want if you just approach, guys are not that difficult to get, just try to move on, and forget the jerk.

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  • What if i told you that i can bring him. back for u and that all i meed s both ur names and dates of birth. I have practiced astrology, numerology and tarot for the past 4 years (and yes thers a school for that) if there's a chance for a reconciliatin i would definitly help u with. Yes i will. do it for free... why? Cause i felt for u.

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    • And all these people telling u to move on won't fix ur heart... they not the one going through ur pain at such moment. So yeah its easy to say move on u will be feeling better soon blahhhh but it just dosent. And when u think its over it comes back again and bote u.. comes into waves.. it just sucks its a greive.

  • A gorgeous young lady like yourself shouldn't be feeling this way. I can understand and even sympathise with the pain you are going through but that absence will go with time... I'm sorry I can't be any more comforting

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  • I was in same condition don't worry.
    Try to go out with friends, do some sports
    and after a month you will see an result.
    Only the time helps.

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  • It's just one person, you shouldn't put sadness over important things like education

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  • You're young you can get over it and find someone who makes you forget about him

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  • This is something everybody goes through sooner or later and it's not easy to deal with. You need to heal and that will take time, but it will get better you will see.

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What Girls Said 15

  • First, that "10" comment was horrible you should have told him TRY and get someone better and good luck! Anyways, this is exactly what they call heartbreak. It sucks and feels like it will never end and you won't meet anyone like him ever again and you are sad all the time, etc. That is how it goes and it is horrible! First, if you are stalking him on fb or other social media or going out of your way to be by him at school or stuff like that, STOP! You will never get over him if you do these things. Otherwise all that fixes these things or make you feel better is time. That is it. So you just have to get through it and eventually you start feeling better and better, trust me! It doesn't seem like you ever will, but you will!! If not everyone would still be depressed over the first person they broke up with forever and ever. They are not. They all moved on. Clearly, enough time hasn't passed for you yet but it will. Do you talk about it with your friends? That is what I do, I talk their ears off until they can't stand to hear about it anymore, I am sure. But, I don't care, it helps and it is what I need to do to get through it. Maybe that will help with you! Sorry to hear you are going this but you will get through it! Unfortunately you might go through it again at some point in your life, I have gone through it so many times! But, it turns out fine in the end.

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  • You have your whole life ahead of you to be concerned about a guy who doesn't seem that great to begin with. I can tell you have a huge heart based on your emotions, but you need to focus on yourself right now. Surround yourself with people that love and support you. The reason the relationship ended was not because of you, it's because you were meant to be with someone better. So work on yourself, gain back your confidence, so you can show off your smile and spark the attention of your prince charming later in life. Trust me... you will meet someone better!

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  • yo chill out ! 1 your still young and I'm sure you'll find someone that will rock your world and make u even forget your own name ;) just trust me.
    2 if you want to get over him then the first step is STOP thinking and talking about him !
    You are thinking about the sweet moments u had and how u it made u feel and how u miss him and know can't back to that.
    It will bring you no where except for making u feel like shit and have low selfesteem.
    If he really cared and was that sweet he wouldn't break up with u so screw him you deserve better !
    Remove all his chat conversations , mails , presents anything that reminds u of him.
    Stop stalking him on facebook , instagram or whatever.
    Think this way if he is getting a girlfriend and carrying on with his life then why should you cry in a corner and feel miserable ? I want to punch you lol but I'll give you a hug and tell you it will be alll right !
    Don't jump quick in a relationship agai just focus on studies , friends and fun things.
    People can be a lesson or a blessing ;)

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  • The truth is, you will not find someone like him, why? Because each person is unique, so he is his own person. On the plus side, you will feel that deep caring feeling for someone else. Going through a break up is very hard, I cried as well and couldn't stand the thought of him being w/someone else. It has been a little over 1/2 since the break up and I have moved on, yeah i think about him, but I am focused on my life and I know I would have been miserable in the relationship. Chin up and don't let this one guy ruin your life, you are just starting.

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  • Okay I plan to write a mytake on this soon. Here is the thing grieve, cry. Learn to forgive him, that is the key to getting over it. Learn how to communicate your emotions in a healthy way. The best, best thing is to remember that God (hopefully you are religious, but you can substitute it for the universe) never takes something GOOD away from you. Him walking out is a blessing, and in the long run you will see it. Here is an anecdote: I grieved for a relationship for one year plus, i was so mad he chose the other woman. She was not as smart, or pretty as I was. You know what in January she messaged me telling me all the bad things he did her, she had a restraining order filed against her and he went to work one day and never came back. Why? He got married to another woman and she got pregnant. Then just two weeks ago I found out he died from a drug overdose. So I dodged a bullet, I can only imagine the tremendous pain these two women are going through now. Imagine the girl he left me for was with him for 5 years and she could not even attend the funeral. THIS IS A BLESSING IN DISGUISE

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  • You have you whole life ahead of you, you have nothing to be depressed about. I understand that you are sad and need a shoulder to cry on but not ever should it lead to you feeling depressed. If you need to cry and grieve, do it give yourself time but do not beat yourself up over it. You have your whole life ahead of you to meet the right guy. Time will help you get over your break up, I was in your position a couple of years ago but I have healed and moved on. Try to distract yourself and keep yourself busy, hang out with your friends, pick up a new hobby. Just take time to just focus on yourself. If he broke up with you, its loss and it is not your fault.

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  • Take one day to mourn and grieve and just sit around maybe eat some junk food and watch some sa movies. Take the next day for a fun day and do something you like such as going to the movies or an amusement park. Don't stress over him so much dude. And definitely don't let your grades drop because of him. You can be sad, that's fine and normal but just remember there are worse things that could happen to you (illness, death of a loved one, etc.).

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  • time my young sister! Time... Eventhough in never shakes off you!

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  • calm down, it's perfectly normal to feel like this. We call it the "grieve period" . Now just let time pass and slowly heal yourself and move on. Now you need a lot of sociall supports. Seek your close friends and family members! cheers

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  • it's normal to feel depressed during earlier stage of break up, but trust me, you'll move on and literally laugh about the tears you've shed for a guy who get away. You're only 17, there's a lot guys in the college, you'll be fine. So, use the energy to love yourself, use it in your studies, achieve the best score and exercise more, stay healthy, be hotter. look forward to have a good college, and hang out with your friends to help your depression.

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  • Eat shitloads of comfort food. Food that makes you feel warm and stuffed and as best as you can try and not to think of him for a time. And focus on something that you know never fails to make you happy: Like watching your fav show or walking into your fav park. Do something rather than not and let that sinking feeling overtake you man. You are a perfectly functioning human being that got her feelings hurt. There isn't anything wrong with you so you should think that way. He left, ok. But that doesn't mean you need to lose yourself cause his love was what you wanted. What you should be nurturing now is your love for yourself because you need you right now and its all you need to know right now. What would you do for a friend if she/he were like you right now. Think about it and dish out all that love and care towards yourself until you've fully regained MAX HP. Think of ways to make your friend feel better and treat that awesome plan to yourself.

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  • You will feel better, just give it time. Trust me, within a month you'll get over it.

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  • it will take time, over time you will find someone wayyyyy better than him. then you will see how lane he was in the first place. i went through the same thing tbh

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  • I'm sorry :(
    But you'll be fine with time. I know you've heard that before by honestly time will make it better

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  • oh honey I was marrying the love of my life at 17 could not live without him we broke up maybe three years ago and if I showered that day I had a good day, tried killing myself and since I've dated new people and now I'm single and I'm happy as could be. Time heals all wounds and so does loving yourself. Get up study go out smile. Don't let him have the power over you

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