my boyfriend dumped me 3 weeks after his mate rung him up and told him I was flirting with a guy in bar and dancing provocatively with him - his mate said to him 'if that was my girlfriend I would dump her'. I did tell this guy I had a boyfriend, but he was drunk and wouldn't leave me alone, maybe I was flirting a little but wasn't dancing provocatively with him! well...it must of been eating away at him cos he stopped saying he loved me and he broke up with me 3 weeks later, saying he didn't love me anymore. We have had contact since, we even met up a few days after, and he asked for a hug a few times and asked to hold my hand under the table. Its been 7 weeks since then, we have had occasional contact, and he has tried to contact ME twice by calling me but I refused to talk to him because he said it was over and it was just going to bring me more heartache if I kept hearing his voice. So I have just been responding by text messages, I said to him, if you don't want me, then please don't contact me. He agreed it was unfair on me, and that he just wants to be 'good friends'. Next day I text him and agreed to be good friends cos I thought I would rather have him in my life than not at all. I said however, that I don't want him to text and ring ME, cos that would mess with my head..it would confuse me...so I said 'just let me contact you for now'. And I haven't really. Just the odd text wishing him good luck for a test etc. apart from that, I have been so strong and give him lots of space.
its been 7 weeks. Is he just hurt and will need lots more time? Or is REALLY over? Shall I show I am truly committed to him and him only, and wait around? Trouble is, if I date other guys, it will get back to him. I don't know what to do, kind of feel in limbo even though he has spelled it out quite clearly. I have a strong gut instinct that he will change his mind.
Its my birthday in a week, and I said a few weeks ago, that there wasn't any hard feelings and I would still love him to come. but I don't know whether, by inviting him, that I am inviting drama or setting myself up for rejection? or could this be an opportunity for us both to see each other again and 'test the water' as it were/see how the land lies.
could I have advice on the whole situation?
Most Helpful Guy
how long where you together? you hurt him so you know he has feelings for you. the friend he has, is not a friend. a friend would tell him what happens and then he would ask him to take it easy and talk to you. have you done this before? did this guy ask you to sleep with him? did you give him your number?
ok you flirt a little bit but who cares. it is not something that was going on for a long time. not even feelings involved. you should tell him that you are really sorry, ask him to to get over it. there is no need to ask for forgiveness cause you didn't do anything. maybe "i am sorry, I am not going to do this again" should be enough. if he is whining and whining about it. f*** him.
Let me make it clear, what you did was wrong, he had the right to be upset, just not for so long and especially not break up with you.
Dating another guy will end it with this one.
what I think you should do is to call(or text) him and tell him you want to meet. talk to him about it tell him that you know what you did is wrong, and that you are not going to do it again. point out that this was a one time thing there where no feelings involved. don't blame the other guy only, take some responsibility too ( you are responsible about this anyway). then tell him how much it hurts you to feel that you hurt him so much, and that you miss him and you only want to be with him. at this point he is like a baby, cause YOU MADE HIM LIKE THAT. if he doesn't take you back tell him that you asked online and show him my answer.
A neutral person opinion is very important!
if you don't want to tell him to look at my answer, tell him to get a neutral person opinion. someone who doesn't know you or him
hope I helped. let me know0
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