Should I just let it go or fight for it?

We were dating for 6 amazing months and 2 months ago he said he wasn't ready for a serious relationship and that he just wanted to be friends.although it wasn't that serious because I only saw him once a week and we talked on the phone about 30 a night, so its not like I was overtaking his life.anyways... so we would still talk to each other just not as much, he I called him mostly but he called sometimes too. 2 weeks ago he called and was all chill and told me he has a new girlfriend, I got upset when he told me and said goodbye pretty quickly, the next day I called back to apologize for being childish and he said whatever, then his girlfriend called me back saying that I should stop calling him ( I only called once I'm not needy or anything)

i miss him like crazy cause no one I have met ever made me feel like he did, he was truly understanding and a really good person to talk to.!


Most Helpful Guy

  • This is a complex situation; If he is wary of commitment (like he was with you) he may not go very far with this new girl, but you need to think. I think you need to decide what would be the best thing to do for all parties involved (yourself as well as him and the new girl). What is the best course of action? Is it trying to get him back?

    • I do want him back

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    • I decided that it would be better not to try and get him back cause clearly he's really into the other girl. and I have accepted that.. but I still want to stay friends but I think that might be hard with his new girl around...

    • Now I'm on a see saw I do want him back.. but then I don't know how to go about that ... or somewhat start... sadly I would settle for friendship from him but I don't know how to go about that either

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What Guys Said 2

  • That's really rough and I don't think you'll be able to get him back right now. But if you really want him that bad you've got to fight for what you want. I don't think it would work out too well right now though with this whole new girl thing. You could wait it out which would be hard for you because he'll be around with her. If you do go now then you could ruin it with the other girl (which doens't work out badly for you), but might also push him away. It's a very hard situation for you.

    • Well so far I haven't talked to him for about 3 months... however I kinda got alittle drunk and texted him on the weekend but so far I was doing so well.. anyways the text only asked hiow he was doing and he didn't know that it was me texting me.. he called to find out and my cousin answered the phone...and talked to him ( that's how we met she knew him first).. should I call him back? cause he was just calling to see who it was. I don't want a repeat of his new girl calling me...

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    • Well he did call my phone, my cousin answered cause I was out of the car and was back just as she was saying goodbye... she told him "i'll tell her you called" he only called cause I texted him and he didn't know who it was... yeah I know I'm even trying to move on.. sadly the guys I've talked to ..this one guy had his arm around me and all I could think about was him ...

    • Waiting it out is a possibility, but a hard one to deal with. If you really want him you can always linger around, but like I said I'd feel horrible morally to advise you to cut into his relationship. In the end you can do whatever you want though.

  • I'm sorry he did that but you have to move on. You sound like a really amazing girl and the more time you waste on this guy the more time you are wasting that you could have spent with your real soalmate. let him go there are plenty of fish in the sea


What Girls Said 1

  • Here are few things to consider:

    1) You mentioned that you were dating for 6 months. It apprently ended on good terms because you remained friends and kept talking to each other. Were you hoping that things will change and you will want to get back to dating you eventually?

    2) Have you told him how you really feel about your friendship with him? My concern here is that you have developed feelings for him that are more than just friends. Was that something you wanted to keep exploring with him?

    2) Have you asked him how he feels about the friendship with you? He told you that he wasn't ready for a serious relationship, so something must have told him that you two were heading towards being in a serious relationship.

    I totally understand that you like talking to him, so does he. But I also understand that men are generally not the best communicator. Most of them only spill subtle gestures and hitns if it is something they are not quite sure about or if they suspect it's something the other party would not want to hear. Having said that, by telling you that he has a new girlfriend, it is quite possible that he was trying to tell you that he might not be available to you as much as he used to, which is totally understandable. It also insinuates that he is starting to get involved with his new girlfriend rather seriously.

    The last fact that his new girlfriend called you and asked you to stop falling him actually says a lot about it. Him telling you that he has a new girlfriend and cutting it rather short with you was the hint that he was afraid your friendship with him may cause some drama with the new girlfriend.

    I can also see from this that his new girlfriend might be a jealous type, which might cause problems in their relationship in a long run (if it does last for long).

    I can do few things here. I believe you value your friendship with him. A good friend would voice their opinion, but generally trust the person's judgement and leave it if he sees happiness in the new relationship. You can give him some time and space so that he can explore the relationship with his new girlfriend. Try and talk to your girlfriends and family when you need support. Like you said, he would call you sometimes, so let that be. When he is ready to talk to you again, I'm sure he will. It appears that he's been doing the right thing by telling you that he wanted to remain friends with you and letting you know that he has a new girlfriend. I can see the honesty in him, and that's probably part of the reason why he is a valuable friend to you. There are so many men who wouldn't even tell you all that and keep you in the dark. You can even look for other opportunities to date meanwhile.

    I know it's hard, but keep your head up. Good luck!


    • That was really helpful thank you rachel . I trying to do the whole space thing.. not callling is the hardest thing ever, especially when I would call him just to see how he was doing... hopefullly he valuse this friendship as well. or as much as I do to stay friends. thanks agian :D

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    • Thats so true and it sucks more cause he was my first boyfriend too.. but everywhere I go I see things that remind me of him, or the music I'm listening too. I'm thinking up ways to call him that don't make me seem like an idiot. but I am trying to stay stong .. thanks again :D

    • Good! You will be ok, trust me. :)

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